I am a real bitch sometimes, and I feel badly (usually) afterwards. I think I could be better, be more forgiving, be more considerate. Part of the problem is I keep so much shit inside me and then it explodes at the worst time. I could be better. I should be better.
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.""And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"The businessman said, just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope."Now you have everything."
A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagonload of corn.A farmer, who lived nearby, heard the noise and yelled to the boy, "Hey, Willis, forget your troubles and come in for a visit. I'll help you pick the wagon up later.""That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but Pa wouldn't like me to.""Aw, come on, boy," the farmer insisted."Well, OK" the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."After...