Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I can not sleep!
I few hours ago, i had flashbacks about when my son's father was abusive towards me.
The flashbacks weren't intense enough to make me feel like i wasn't where i actually was, but to the point to make me anxious.
I am sick of hearing, "I fcking hate you, id kill you if i could" in my head. And it scares me that he said this to me. While trying to choke me, while i was holding my son who was 5 months old at the time. I am scared of him. I haven't been taking to him at all lately, despite the fact that we have a son together. I just feel like i have absolutely nothing to say to him because i have already told him numerous times that i have hated him.
I'm just sick of dealing with the memories of him hurting me, sometimes its just to much for me, and it make me feel like a horrible person for not getting out of the situation sooner. My mind is racing while writing this, and when this happens i feel like my thoughts are outside of my head, even though i know they clearly aren't. It's terrible, i think its just part of feeling dissociative.
I want to sleep, but i am terrified to try...and i am also very depressed about my life at the moment. Not only am i dealing with flashbacks and memories about him hurting me, i am also dealing with memories from being in a scary psych-ward...I really wish i never ended up there, these two things ruined my life, and set me back...
I know this post was probably flip flopped back and fourth, but i just needed a place to come and vent, thank you if you listened to me ramble on about nothing.
I few hours ago, i had flashbacks about when my son's father was abusive towards me.
The flashbacks weren't intense enough to make me feel like i wasn't where i actually was, but to the point to make me anxious.
I am sick of hearing, "I fcking hate you, id kill you if i could" in my head. And it scares me that he said this to me. While trying to choke me, while i was holding my son who was 5 months old at the time. I am scared of him. I haven't been taking to him at all lately, despite the fact that we have a son together. I just feel like i have absolutely nothing to say to him because i have already told him numerous times that i have hated him.
I'm just sick of dealing with the memories of him hurting me, sometimes its just to much for me, and it make me feel like a horrible person for not getting out of the situation sooner. My mind is racing while writing this, and when this happens i feel like my thoughts are outside of my head, even though i know they clearly aren't. It's terrible, i think its just part of feeling dissociative.
I want to sleep, but i am terrified to try...and i am also very depressed about my life at the moment. Not only am i dealing with flashbacks and memories about him hurting me, i am also dealing with memories from being in a scary psych-ward...I really wish i never ended up there, these two things ruined my life, and set me back...
I know this post was probably flip flopped back and fourth, but i just needed a place to come and vent, thank you if you listened to me ramble on about nothing.
It was all bad things from my childhood.
Since I've been on antidepressants I don't experience that anymore.
And I've tried to get on with my life. I also exclude people that are toxic to me from my life. It helps. Doesn't matter if it's a best friend or your Mother. If you can find peace, in your mind and your life, (no drama) it helps.