Thank you for sharing. You aren't pathetic, but I do understand Depression almost screams that inside our minds. Never shame in asking for help for whatever you might need. I often liken it to being thrown from a moving train in the middle of nowhere. However we can find help in the middle of nowhere, but we just have to look harder, which is more difficult carrying a very heavy weight, but you are more than worth the help. Sometimes finding a good Counselor can lead to them helping you in finding more help, that you might need. Everyday is it's own victory. Thank you. God Bless.

Hi Anna, you are just feeling insecure because your current job is about to end. Have you found out from work to gauge the employer's reaction as to when they will be forcing you to retire? When you have the date of retirement, that will be the start date for your new job. Start applying for a new job now. You should make some plans now about the new employment so that you won't falter when the old job expires. Once you are assured about the new job, the depression will ease off. Your situation is not that bad from what I can see.

Do you have a computer at home you can make money that way.
Look up how. You can buy things at thrift store and sell them online.
There are a lot of ways to make money without a regular job. Company's
hire people to work from home as customer reps, etc. Look for companies
that do. Contact company directly. There are ways to survive if you have
to stop working.

Anna I can understand exactly what you are saying. I am in a similar situation. I am not able to work either at least not at the career I have, I lost vision in my left eye last week.......it is only one eye.....but it makes everything so much harder to do and work..........not at all and probably never again.
I wish that I had advice for you. Your words touched me as they are close to how I feel. All I can tell you is what I am telling myself......which is useless and stupid.......but one minute at a time......one hour at a time........I am just focusing on what I can focus on and making a list of the things that I need to do and can do. It is hard. So hard.
PM me if you would like to share more.
I feel for you. I do

If you can still see the car wreak you can still minimise damage. You are not pathetic, if you tell yourself that you will stop achieving in this life simply because of the mindset which matters, every time.