Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have work today. I have no clue how I’m gonna do it. And this isn’t a matter of not liking this particular job- I’ve tried countless jobs and it’s always like this. And it’s more than needing to take a mental health day because this is what it’s like everyday, though today seems to be particularly bad for whatever reason. I want to stay in bed. It’s comfortable and safe here. It’s all I have the energy to handle. And I’m too scared to go in. I can’t handle the pressure of being around other people, watching me work. They’re really nice but I can’t help but think that they’re judging me. I don’t want them to think I’m stupid. I don’t want to be stupid. I’m new at the job so I’m always bothering everybody with questions while they’re trying to do their jobs. I hate that. I’m a burden. I sometimes have to ask things I’ve already asked because I forget. Ugh. My stomach is just in knots. I don’t understand what my deal is. I don’t understand why I have such a mental block about it but I do. I don’t know how I’m gonna go in. I don’t know how I’m going to convince myself to just put one foot in front of the other. It feels physically impossible.
'I don’t understand what my deal is.'
Maybe you shouldn't work until you find out what the underlying problem is? Of course, if that's not an option then you must find ways to cope at work. Being new and asking a lot of questions is ok - you're not being a huge burden. Your work colleagues will make allowances for you since you are new there.