you have so much to live for even if you don't see it now, one day it will change, IT might not seem like that now, but when I feel like this I turn to helping others, it may be their time right now to be helped, and then yours is to come. I am looking at my moms life right now, and how she had a bad child hood, But now that shes in her career I see her being supported by so many of her friends. I had a rough life, I have lots of debt, But the sun is shining this morning so I start with being grateful for that. Plus I am Canadian and got my first tan of the year yesterday.. so hang in there please, and if you need anyone to talk to i am here for you.

Read the post by Underland: I Hate This Part Right Here

Some of what is said in the comments I think you might find helpful.

Don't do it. You are allowing cloudy views of yourself to take over. You need to get proper help. Go see your doctor now. Get checked in.
Do you know that billy joel once went into a mental hospital with depression before he became famous?
The vast vast majority of people in hospitals get better.
Read a book Anthony de mello Awareness. You will get it free on the internet .
You are allowing your misguided views on your worth to drive you down. Society and the media sells you bullshit. You must be a success etc. You must make money. Make money so you can buy more useless
Stuff. You are breathing and if you can help one person a day =success

Are you currently being treated for depression? There is a way out of it. Depression lies. It brings you so low and lets you feel the worst of everything. You can get out of it with the right help. You are reaching out here and we are here for you. Peace and support to you.

I am the parent of a depressed child and I am begging you not to give up. You are in a low funk right now, but you won't stay there. It can take awhile to get out of this place but it can happen.
"When im gone my parents won't have to deal with my shit anymore and everything will be better off without me..." Your parents would much rather deal with the shit you got going on now, then to deal with the alternative. They would not be better without you. You are a big part of them and they need you.
My thoughts are with you!

Hi, Senmen,

Good for you for reaching out and sharing your feelings! Life can feel dark sometimes. Remember that despite the things that are going wrong, you are here for a purpose. Younger people are looking to you for an example of how to deal with life. Older people are encouraged when you hang on through difficult times. Your life has a bigger impact than you can ever fully realize. And, as you can see from these responses, there are people who really care about you! Here is a list of resources https://bit.ly/2jcCm6F that might prove helpful as you look for good support. Hang in there! Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Senmen, I'm so glad you came here to express yourself. Please do not harm yourself, and please let us know that you're okay. Know that your parents would be devastated if you were to harm yourself. This will only bring a whole different kind of pain for them, leaving holes in their hearts that only you could feel. Remember that they love you more than they have ever loved anything else. We all care about you and no one wants to see you hurt.

Thank you all so much for your support. It helps me feel a little better. I am trying to look at the positive things in life but im still struggling with it. It feels good to know that people care about me when I can't even care about myself.
Again thank you for responding, it means a lot to me.