Good that you are thinking about your future, many people your age may not be doing that, I think I played and partied until I was in my ealry 20's and event then was not serious about my future, so sounds like you are taking that first step. AWESOME for you. I think for me it is difficult to know what you want to do if you have not done it before, and we have to have some warm feelings about ourself and our abilities things like that, I'm not sure where i was going with that, but I hope you figure it out and when you do go for it!

Ok .. I read it. I have good news ... but you may not see it that way. That is because the good news is you can attain your goals. The bad news is it will not be easy. SUCCESS DOES NOT COME EASILY.

If you can accept that, then this is good news.

You are young. That is a good thing. You are ambitious ... you are willing to work. You are intelligent. You have potential. All good news.

What do I think you need to do?? Tons of things ... the first is to raise your goals. I know of no security guard or dishwasher, or busboy who lives a financially secure life. I WILL say it seems you have come to realize that .... so you must now set a higher goal.

Don't know what to pursue ... this is typical of a 22 year old. There are SO MANY 'things to do'. I understand this.

OPTIONS:
Trade school.
College
Apprenticeships (not many of those around anymore)
Artistic talent (do you have any????)

Here is the wisdom you need now ... whatever it is, it will NOT BE EASY. ANY option takes hard work. Happiness, prosperity, security does not come easy ... unless you inherit, win it, or some other 'odds against it' circumstance prevails.

Know that as you pursue SOMETHING ... other opportunities open up 'along the way'. You may 'start out' on something and it change at some point. The important thing is to 'start out'.

I don't KNOW what is best for you ... but for SOME REASON, I think a trade school arrangement might be best (maybe not). As such, you COULD become something that is marketable ... welder, engine mechanic, or? or? or? .... though none of these may be appealing to you. I suggest you GOOGLE .... trade school and see what you can find.

Of course, .. whatever you 'find' will probably have some costs attached, so you need to look into 'financial assistance'. This would be important to you also.

As for girl friend. I understand 'young love' and everything you said about her. Sorry to tell you ... it is damn near impossible to 'fix someone else'. You will learn this as you get older. Everyone has their 'own life' ... and that is just it ... it is THEIR LIFE and not someone else's. Hence, to fix someone else's life is basically impossible. It is THEIRS. Further, I don't see where you are equipped or qualified to help her. Would be nice to rescue her ... but you have to have some (solution) to offer .... and I don't see it. This is just my opinion. You may be one who loves her, but you are not her white knight.

You need to improve your situation before you could improve someone else's.

so, .. dunno how much 'help' I have been ... but were I to 'advise' a young person ... at this point ... this is what I have to offer you.

No need to freak out and lose sleep. YOU ARE YOUNG ... you have time ... as long as you 'get into action'. Sitting and worrying will only use up that time. Give it (a lot of) thought ... and get into action. You must walk through the doorway to move from one place to another.

Good luck to you. I am glad you have posted ... even if I have not been much help.

If you're smart enough for chemistry, working in labs is really INTERESTING, like when you drop a great big glass container with a certian chemical or other and the floor begins to melt.

Thanks, reading the responses has put my spirit up and gave me some motivation. I guess, i just have to really think into what job or career I want to decide to go after. I've set a goal for myself to earn my driver's license by July. Hopefully it goes well.
One thing I wonder about though, I recently started working part time (3 overnight shifts) as a security guard for a security company two weeks ago. I've decided to stick with them as they provided me with a permanent schedule as i found out that many companies in New York give guards varied schedules each week, at different locations, which I am not very fond of. I am always looking at job postings on craigslist to see if there's any 2 day part time job either as a guard, or even in a restaurant. Just so I can make some more money. But let's say I see a job posting that promises or guarantees a good schedule with good pay that's above minimum wage (lets say above 10$ per hour) in either field. Should I just give my notice to the company I work for now? Even if i just started working there? Or would that look bad on me? I would feel bad about it when I think about making a decision like that, or should I not care what they think? Or how bad it would make me? I would like to work and save some money for about a year, then go back to college and be more serious about it.


WanderingVet, Thank You for your deep insights and opinions on what I have said. I understand it will not be easy, so i guess i just have to find the right motivation and keep it to push myself and fight that feeling of hopelessness and giving up.
As for my girlfriend, I understand what you've said and will keep in mind when you say it's near impossible to fix someone else. Our relationship is very close and strong even though we were together for 2 and a half months, its been almost 3 months since i returned to new york and already we've been missing each other terribly. I felt horrible, the day I left back to new york, as she was very upset and was in tears because unfortunately I'm her main source of Joy, Last night, I've thought, and although it may sound foolish, I think that in the summer of next year, I would like to go on a cross country road trip to Arizona to see her and bring her over to New York. I've told her about it and her mood lit up. She came to the conclusion and understands that if she comes with me to New York, she will have to stay there, as she cannot simply take a plane ride back and another cross country road trip is very expensive and time consuming. Her mother would be fine with it though, as some of my girlfriend's siblings has gone off to live on their own or with their spouse at around her age. Yea, 2 years together and at our age, my plan may seem foolish, I just wonder what are your thoughts about it? My plan is to earn my driver's license and work at least part time for a year until the beginning of the summer of next year to drive cross country to see her and bring her back with me to meet my parents and try to support her and find a way to get her documented so she can get a job and have more freedom for herself, as her anxiety and low moods are from her mother, who is also under pressure because she relies on the man she is living with (her boyfriend) and he does not like and get along with my girlfriend at all. I have met him and saw how he can be and I despise him a lot. He keeps the household on very strict order manipulates my girlfriend's mother to take his side over my girlfriend on any situation. Since he helps pay the rent and bills of the house, my girlfriend's mother is always taking his side as she worries as he'll get upset and split and leave her under a lot of stuff to look out for, especially bills, as her job earnings is not enough to be completely independent. He is a major cause of my girlfriend's anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, my girlfriend has had suicidal thoughts and that scares me a lot. That is a big reason why i want to be her white knight, even though you, WanderingVet, said I shouldn't be. I'm worried that one day, she'll give into her thoughts and even though I'm not the reason she feels that way, I'll feel very guilty and upset about it, and maybe even develop depression because of that. 50% of me being happy is her being happy.

Any further insight and opinion would be great. I'm glad I've decided to join this website, I should've done it sooner, the response from you guys really helped my thinking and help my mind be more at ease :)

WELCOME 2 THE GROUP!
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FUTURE AMBITIONS!
GBU
DRENA B
;-O

There is a risk to 'job hopping', BUT if you have a good shot at something SUBSTANTIALLY better, ,.. I say grab it. I may not be a good career advisor though because I basically consider employers as 'the enemy'. They have a take it leave it attitude, exploit employees, and over exercise their power. I hated working for people.

I wish you good luck with the girlfriend situation.

I too work as a security guard, part-time, to bring in some money when my wedding photography and video business is slow, gatehouses to residential communities mostly, and also ask myself the question: Is this what I want to do with what's left of my life? I'm 51 years old. The answer is, invariably, a big fat NO. It's not altogether unpleasant, but is nowhere near using my full brain, full talent. I want to be doing other types of photography and video besides weddings: Real estate, stock, instructional how-tos, music videos, the occasional independent feature film. It all has to lead to money of course, at least enough money to live on.

The best advice I can give you is: Find your core brilliance, something that lights you up, something you LIKE, you ENJOY, then try to position yourself in the marketplace so you get to do A LOT OF that thing you enjoy for money. Research the market FIRST, BEFORE investing in expensive equipment, like I did, or expensive college. I wouldn't completely trust college campus guidance counselors, as they're going to say whatever they've got to say to get you enrolled and get your money. I'd do a lot of Google searches and look at full-time as well as free-lance salaries as well as work that you think you might be interested in.

If you're thinking education is necessary, look into short-term vocational/technical/certification training in your specific area of interest as an alternative to traditional college. College is necessary for some fields, like doctor, lawyer or engineer, but for other fields, like Liberal Arts or Communications, what my degree is in, it teaches a lot of theory and fluff that have no practical application for the actual work you're going to be doing, in the interest of making you a well-rounded individual, but wastes a lot of your time and money. In a short-term certification program, you're in and out in 6 months with much less expense and can start earning money right away, if you've made the right connections, met the right people. WHO YOU KNOW, and maintaining harmonious relationships with such people, through your willingness to work hard and being easy to get along with, is extremely important.

As far as making your honey, your SO, happy, she'll just have to come along for the ride, she'll be happier when you're happier, just within yourself. Be happy in your WORK. Personal relationships will follow. If you evolve beyond her, and she's not willing to adapt, she'll be holding you back, and will have to go.

WanderingVet, thanks for your insight, I'm aware many employers are like that and there are very very few of them who care for their employees and try to work with what they can provide. I'll be aware on the choices I make and make sure they are best for me both short and long term. Thank you for the good luck too, haha. I'll keep posted on anything else that goes on as getting it out is a good way for me to vent my thoughts and feelings out.
Koolman, Thank you for your insights and thoughts. I will definitely do some deep research on what I want to go for. Here's to hoping for the best.
Thank You guys and I wish nothing but the best for all of you. I'm very glad I signed up here and will sure post anything else thats on my mind as well as for any updates!

Koolman, I'm currently working 3 days (overnight shifts) as a guard, 2 of them are 8 hour shifts at a senior residence building and one long tough 13 hour shift at a famous sandwich shop in new york city (Katz's Delicatessen, mostly known in for the location of the famous fake orgasm scene in the movie 'When Harry met Sally'" . A lot of drunks would come in to eat from 11pm-5am and some would try to leave without paying, i have that later tonight so wish me luck haha. Hope you stay safe when you're working as a security guard and wish you the best for your business.

Just want to say ... you are a 'good kid' ... ambitious, sensitive, willing to work, have a good sense of fairness and compassion for others, have a good sense of responsibility, ENGAGED with what is going on in your life, and IF I were a potential employer, would give you good chances to work for me.

HOPEFULLY, ...the above and some time, and a reasonable effort on your part to research and pursue will reward you well. You already outshine MANY young people today. You give some hope to the future.

Hopefully, you will find an employer who gives SOME thought to YOU personally, and gives you a 'fair shake'.

You be safe too, Danchu! That's what I hate about security: Dealing with hostile, belligerent (drunk) assholes. I'm a pretty big, tall guy, 5'11", hopefully you're a pretty big, tall guy too, and our mere physical stature chills the hostiles out.

First thought that came to mind; I always worried about my future, even when I was your age (young) and the future is now and things are just fine. I have sme regrets, but your future is what you make of it.

You create your own destiny and at your age it's a good time to be wondering what it is you may want to do with you life. Don't settle. Find something you enjoy and work hard. Your future is in your hands; try not to worry so much. Instead put that energy into action!

Take care,

Thanks a lot WanderingVet, sure helps :)

koolman, yea you're right about the people you have to deal with working as security. I'm 5'9 but I'm 250 lbs so weight helps in this situation haha.

Trudilu, thank you for your response, I will keep that in mind! :)

I went through (and am still going through) trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I did have a opportunity to go to college, but my major was literally picked for me. So I got out at 21 and had no idea what I wanted/needed out of life and a career.

My advice to you is chase a reliable income right now, save a little bit, and while you are doing that, start making a mental picture of what your ideal day to day would look like.

It sounds like you are already doing that, but I wouldn't discount the experiences that you are having now. Restaurant experience could help you become a purchasing manager for a supermarket (office work/low stress/big $$$) or experience with security equipment could help you design security systems. Every experience builds on another and not necessarily in a logical order. Take my resume:

Sewage plant tech, permit writer, restaurant inspector, book editor, data management specialist, HR assistant, and finally Environmental Scientist! lol It's freaking crazy. But I was able to sell the skills I got from my previous jobs and apply it to this completely new-to-me environmental industry.

And another piece of advice, keep exploring job titles and postings. I had no idea what a Project Manager was last year. All I knew is that it sounded boring and wasn't for me...turns out, it's exactly the job I wanted, but didn't have a name for!

The career will come as long as you keep working on it and taking chances on new opportunities.

Well, I need to be done babbling now...good luck to you and your girlfriend.