Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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I AM SUICIDAL...

DepressedRecluse
DepressedRecluse

and the only thing keeping me alive is my fear of failure...


See, I've been thinking and planning my demise for years now...and I thought the best defense was that I do not own a weapon...but lately...all I think of is death...and if something anything makes me mad, I just want to kill it and myself!


The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is that I am pretty sure I would fail...and that fear of failure is the only thing that keeps me from killing myself... so I keep trying to think of a sure fire way of killing myself but I can't come up with anything...so then I get anxious and mad at myself and the only thing I want to do is die!...


But I can't cause I am pretty sure I would just fail! I am clearly losing my mind...which I honestly think is worse than killing myself...I just want to die...and I am pretty sure no one else knows what this feels like!


I don't care about anything but dying...but I can't die because I am a failure...so I'm pretty sure I am just crazy! And I want to die!


So please, someone just ... KILL ME NOW!


billwfriend
billwfriend
so sorry but I am not the type out there to kill someone else...only thing I can tell you is to try some medication changes if you are already on an anti depressant.....if not then you probably should see a shrink to be put onto anti depressant medications....

I know how you feel I was there myself....I actually tried twice and failed both times....never again...so I am now much happier too...I am on a good match of anti depressant medication for me....
I hope you will seek help....because if you are nuts then you do need help...and if not then you need to be feeling better....hugs
mega54
mega54
I would urge you to get help. I have not tried to kill myself because I believed I would fail and find myself in a worse situation. It is frustrating to the Max. I saw a doctor and took the antidepressant prescribed only so I could go back and tell him he had been wrong, I knew it would not work for me. Long story short, it helped. I am sending you a "friend request" so if you want more information we can easily exchange it.
stlake
stlake
Please, please don't try to kill yourself. Do you have any family?
muskrattiger
muskrattiger
I here you .......please here me .....and go for help ...if you are on meds than you need to get them adjusted ......or changed .....or added to ........I have suffered from depreshion all my life .....I did for a very long time not want to be here .....I ended up in hospital ...t was the best thing that ever happened to me ..I got help .i needed ......they had to give me ECT to get me back .....and that was a life saver .....I would get it again if I needed to ................all I realy want to say is don't be afraid to go get the help you need ......and it will take a little time to get the meds right .....for you .......you are not a failure you have a dease that needs treating .....I will keep you in my prayers ....take very good care of your self ...God bless .......I also want to tell you that as of three months ago I no longer feel depressed ....so there is help ....for you and hope ....God bless
bridgie101
bridgie101
I think you have a fixation, and I think the fixation is OCD. there's a guy on here who has it: suicide fixation from OCD. So it's all you think about. You could easily be forgiven for thinking something in the universe was telling you this was your fate and you had to obey it somehow... but I recommend anti anxiety medication.

:) Keep trying till you find something that fits. Then you can have a quiet mind, and then you can see what you want to do with your life. Right now there's far too much noise for you to do anything.
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