Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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drew4lostluv 06/25/2013

I recently went out on a outing with my social group at the Theaters. A girl that just joined the group noticed me and she was talking with me in the lobby, Wanting to know more about me and she was real nice. Very pretty I was agitated because I posted that I was just a guy looking to have fun and nothing else because I recently lost my wife. I know that I don't even want to flirt or anything of that nature. I told her about my wife and that I thought she was very pretty but I joined this group souly because it is not a dating site. She seemed to not hear anything I told her and continued. She even asked for my # after the show. This happened Sunday. I felt like I did something wrong. That is why I didn't post earlier. God she is very pretty and very forward of her interests. Why does things like this happen to me when I am not looking this online group is strictly a casual social group and there shouldn't be people like this in my group. I still feel connected too my wife and knowing that I didn't want anything to do with this girl made me feel good. Is that weird? Am I doing the wrong thing? I don't think I am. This has got me to feeling like a kid again. I am happy to know that I still have it. LOL

Gosh I am vein sorry. I don't think I will ever be in a serious relationship again. It doesn't feel right and I realize that I don't want to ever invest myself in something so hard again I like having friends that are women and that is all.

deleted_user 06/28/2013

Now that is a unique posting.

You are not at all wrong for feeling the way you do. Obviously you loved your wife very much and the loss of her is something that will take a great deal of time for you to get over. I think your attitude is very healthy and I commend you for taking it.

Sometimes people cling to someone who's stronger than they are. That's human nature.

I don't think it's true that you will never be in a serious relationship again however. You will need time, a great deal of it indeed. However one day you will have to move on, when you're ready.

Take all the time. I admire your spirit.

Best of luck!

muskrattiger 06/28/2013

i think you need to folow your feelings ....you will know when you are readyto have someone in your life .......my sister lost her husband and never even dated for 5 years than she met someone and now they are livinf together and he is very good to her he first hudband will never be forgoten but she can finaly move on and live her life .................and you will know when you can to .....................................i also think that that woman was rude when you told her you were not looking for a girlfrend and had lost your wife reasently she schould of backed off and talked to you like a frend and respected what you said ................i would stay away from her just because she did not do the right thing she showed no respect for your feelings that is not the typt of person you need even just for a frend .............................it doesent look good on her careter ...............................you are not vein everyone does that .........you sound like a very nice young man someone who would make a good frend ................take care .........god bless

sweatingbullets 06/29/2013

After a little while seeing replies it seems there are some on both sides of the fence for and against seeing this person. There are great arguments for both sides and maybe still see if she can give you some more time. Maybe go on a daytime date on a weekend and if you do see how slow you can go without losing her interest. As long as you follow your heart you can't go wrong and you do only live once, this is a tough decision and hope you aren't losing too much sleep over this. Cheers.

deleted_user 06/29/2013

Wow 4 months since she has pass, yeah I can definitely understand you are not ready. Many take years,

I remember having this discussion in another thread about divorcees and how long it took them to be ready to date again. Everyone is different, but wow 4 months is not long at all for the passing of your wife. You need time to grieve

Do not think you will never love again, but it is obvious you are not ready at this time, and it may take time. Just do not close your heart off forever. i am sure you wife wants you to be happy, but obviously for now you need to grieve her.

I also understand there is nothing wrong with people finding each other in social groups. The problem is the dating groups, and sites and such suck. They put people under too much pressure, and anxiety to be on there best behavior, instead of just being who you are. There are better ways to find her, or him. Why not find someone while doing what you like to do? That was how it was suppose to be done finding people with common interests right?

So she is not doing anything wrong just from hitting on you. However you told her how you feel, and she needs to back off and respect that you are still grieving right now, and maybe for quite awhile.

Just do not completely shut the door on your heart ok. It is hard to think about it right now, and i understand you love your wife, and you loyalty which is great, and commendable. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date, and grieve. Just do not shut that door completely ok. I am sure if your wife loves you as much as you love her, she would want you to be happy, and not sad. :)

deleted_user 06/30/2013

You are doing the right thing and you are normal. I went through something similar years ago and felt pretty much like you're feeling. It takes time to heal. Give yourself the care you need, like you're doing, and don't let others mess with that. It'll be OK, it just takes time.

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