This is all very brand new too me so plesae kind with me. I literally feel like I am losing my mind. Everything that I have worked 25 years to get is suddenly at the brink of me losing it all in a heartbeat. I was hurt four years ag and am at the point no that its either surgery or medicatons for life. The surgery scarcs the holly hell ( pardon my french) out of me . Then I have financail problems at home. My husband is a wonderful man who has stuck my by side from the beging but the finances all comes down to him and its taking a toll on him and us, Theres only so much of that you can do. Its heard beacusea I nee to find a job out there that i can do to bring home just a little bit of income to help out wiht. I think more and more about babysitting.That was it give my kids someone else to play with and I can be home and rest if my back starts to hurts. But then I have other problems with with my family. MY mom and I argue like crazy becasue in her eyeys I am weak and can't do anythin right. MY little sister is the golden child and no matter waht she does is like is perfect. I have a agruement with my mom and all of the sudden the s=whole family is dragged into and telling me thati am wrong in what I had to say and I should just apologize for the sac of the family. I just want my like to be normal again. to be able to wake up in the morning and look forward to the day ahead of me and not dread what had to get done.I want to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment with my life. This last weekend was really rough for me and and I condsidered more that once not going on, LUckily I was able to listen to some vocie of reason and that pulled me back, i don; know I just felt like i need to share this and get it out of my head iin the hope that it would help a little.
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