Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Spike2013 10/27/2016

I'm really tired, I'm in a lot of pain physically, emotionally and spiritually, days getting longer, time feeling shorter.. I just don't know how much more I can take. Medical conditions keep me from walking sometimes, keeps me indoors and it's only because it's embarrassing and hard for normal people I come across to even cope with knowing that I'm hurt..

I'm trying to get out of a dark part of my life, but the magnets almost feel to strong. I'm 2 steps forward and then life will immediately push me back down the steps.. how much more I can take of that I'm not sure..

its great to say I have someone to unconditionally love and be loved by.. but when I come back to the life I'm living, it's one of the saddest days because I wish That I could do better for me and excel in life.. it always gets seen as me not needing them but I need her as much as I need myself..

my life feels like I'm at the bottom of the last inning , I'm on 3rd base.. last hitter of the night, I'm either gonna steal home, get out, or hope my teammate hits a homerun..I'm putting faith in my teammate but time is constantly tearing me a part physically.

Ending it all seems like the easiest decision for me.. but I love to see smiles, it keeps me up. Only thing about me, I'll smile with the struggles, pains, restrictions, constrictions, and without happiness.. im just trying to get healthy and to a point in life I can be happy to live..

but today, I risk life leaving my place because of external factors, I suffer pains to stay active (stand up and walk straight) and get things done, I have multiple important things to get situated at this very moment that I need to be in 3 locations (cities) at one time. My soul can do that but my physical body can't..

im ready to go and need my serenity.. i don't know if I'm going to make the right choice but I've made it this far.. just don't know how much more I can take on. Tired of the pain.. just tired of it..

Debbalina 10/27/2016

Sorry to read your having such a hard time. Emotional and physical pains, when together, are too much for most of us to handle. Youre lucky you have unconditional love in your life, but I know that doesn't necessarily make things easier right now. Wish I had answers for you - you sound like your giving everything your best shot and I can't help but think that will make the difference for you in the long run. Reaching out to you and sending hugs.....

Spike2013 10/29/2016

I try everyday.. just hoping one thing goes right.. kinda just pray and have faith in things getting better.

a.allison 10/29/2016

I've been here mentally and I've tried to end it all. The only thing that helped me was finding a reason. I only made myself pick one, strong reason to stay here. Something that gives me value. For me, it was my friend Rachel.
You aren't just a vessel. You're full of something, find something to live for and find something that you feel proud offering the world.
Pain is evidence you're alive. You deserve to experience life.

vissen.plant 10/29/2016

"But I love to see smiles" they love to see your smile too, I know you feel stuck. You feel surrounded by darkness. But there are peoples hearts who beat for you, I bet their only wish would be to see you happy again. Just remember that none of this is actually your fault, you did nothing wrong at all. Mental illnesses will make you want to do bad things and they make you feel useless and horrible. You seem like a very nice and kind person and I hate to have to see that you're unhappy. Please please don't end it, all the smiles that you like seeing wouldn't be there anymore

Spike2013 10/31/2016

-Allison, ive tried and tried on choosing things to live for to the point that choosing to live for a person that eventually leaves because they feel like you will leave them or life/struggle that i deal with on a daily basis. They wouldnt be able to cope with the fact i go through it and have to..
I gave my reason to live, is to understand the life i live.. ending it all to me is just my easy way to starting over.. which is another thing, constantly at ground zero, physically, emotionally, financially.. still learning though.. what i can give to the world is knowledge..
Thanks for Responding:)

-Vissen.. there are people out here that keep my heart beating and i know because in some form the connection always gets through. They want to see the smile but they also made their own choice to turn around the other direction.. i can admit to things not be my fault. Mostly things done is because of an action of somebody else and i just have to keep going.. tired of that to.. i want my life.. but feel to controlled.. thats why i isolated myself to the point that an extrovert became an introvert.. I used to be so happy that gravity couldn't keep me down but now a days, it's a fight to get it back and keep it..
Everyday i almost want to give up because it's always something else once i finish one thing.. i just kinda wish that if i could ask those people who really wanted me happy and see me happy.. why did they choose to watch me be miserable and depressed while im trying to be happy. they remove themself from the happy & get mad when im not happy with them anymore.. it doesn't make sense to me.. i want to be but people don't want me to be.. i make it to be and its not what it was thought out to be..

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