I'm glad you have such a good support network.
I couldn't begin to list the people or how they have helped me.
I never forget their care and time they have given me.
I give back as much as I can.
Niki

good for you and your support.

Never ever in my life ever has any one helped me. NEVER

1) My sister offered to pay for my meds because I no longer have health insurance.
2)My daughter has been less demanding of my time so that I can work through my grief and loss.
3)My neighbor keeps my driveway clear of snow & expects nothing in return)
4)Phone calls every other day just to say hello.

i take that back in rl no one has helped me. from the lcd screen here many have.

You are extremely fortunate.

If I died or was seriously injured, I could lie in my house for several days before anyone became aware. Even up to a week or more. I no longer have anyone to 'talk to' ... no support system except DS .. but I don't feel even it can be of much help to me. I do not use it for self support. I just keep myself going with what is in my head .. and it is enough .. I guess.

You are very fortunate.

My family came and did an intervention after I tried to commit suicide.
My lovely sister Rainer sent help to my house for me.
All my friends here sent many hugs and support when I was down.
My son lets me miss work when Im depressed. I work for him.
My sons dogs know when Im depressed and they love me more..

I'm like Wandering Vet, I don't have a support system. People seem to not ever want to hear when I have problems. What I mean is that I have mentioned problems to them, and then I never, ever hear from them again. Or if I do hear from them, they never mention my problem. They never offer a shoulder to cry on, they never often assistance of any kind. This includes relatives. One time I called my husband at work because I was suicidal. He told me to call a suicide hotline. He never asked me about the situation when he got home. He never ever mentioned it. He never called to check up on me. The ass.

I wonder how others get help from people? And others of us just don't get help? Yes, this DS site is ok. But it's not like having flesh and blood people on our door steps with offers of food and money or shoulders to cry on in real life. Or even a phone call to check up on us.

And the only time I can say a counselor has really offered a kind word to me is when she said she understood why I acted the way I did in some circumstances...it was not my fault, it was because of the way I was brought up. What a relief. So many of the other counselors kept trying to ask ME why I thought the way I did. Well, wasn't that their job to figure it out? Finally, that kind lady explained it to me. Once she explained why I was so mixed up I was finally able to work on some of the mess in my mind.

So, I think you wanted a list of people who helped me. Sorry, you didn't get one from me or Wandering Vet. I know I've been mentally slapped in the face way too many times. Where are all the kind people?

Oh, and I see Doghouse23 is the same as Wandering Vet and me, he doesn't get help either. I'm so sorry, Doghouse and WanderingVet. Maybe the three of us should meet and help each other out! There just has to be kindness somewhere.

Rachel, . and others .. I just want to explain my own 'take' on this subject .. where I am concerned.

First, I am looking right at 64 years old. I have fought depression for about oh .. 40+ years. I, like others, have been to hell and back with it MANY times. I am no expert on it .. but after surviving on it so long I THINK I have figured out a few things. The following 'works' for me and I am not preaching anything to anyone else:

We are given 'life' at conception. We don't know it yet, but it is ours to do with as we please. We start out needing EVERYTHING from someone else. As we grow, our needs must be met more and more from ourselves .. and not from others. It starts out having our needs provided by our Mothers. As we grow, our needs are met from our friends as well, .. our needs are met from a variety of outside 'elements'.

Eventually, our Mothers/Fathers are gone. This is natural. It is how life 'goes' and it has been "going" like that for thousands of years. Other things can cause us to be 'friendless'. Our support 'system' is fragile and we can lose it easily .. especially over time.

At my age, I have come to realize how I, and I alone must manage my life. It is up to me entirely to "live". AS SUCH, if there is something that needs to change in my life, it is (now) completely up to me to change it. If I am 'alone' and it is not a 'good thing', it is up to me to change that.

I am very 'big' on this. At some point, we are responsible .. entirely .. for our life situation. Because of this, I do not expect DS, or anything else to fix anything .. I have to do it.

Now, life is so dynamic, there is always something we can 'fix'. I am aware of 'my problem'. That is the first step to a solution to a problem .. know there is one. Sometimes a solution to a problem is readily available. Other times, the solution has to be found. There can be a timeframe between realizing there is a problem and implementing its solution.

I have .. rather than panic over a problem with no 'ready' solution, realized I need to 'do some things' ... I need to stop isolating. I need to involve myself in some kind of 'real life' social activities. I need to create some real life relationships. I notice .. it is me, me, me, me .. and realize regardless of what others try to do 'for me', it always comes back to me and the actions I will have to take.

Sooooooo, with that, I don't put my 'stuff' on my younger brother and his wife/children. I don't look outside for anyone to fix what only I can fix. I study what I need to do, analyze why I don't do it, and TRY to execute what I need to do when I can do it. It is my 'problem'/life/journey and I am 'at the wheel'.

This is something I am going to have to do. No one can do it for me, and there is no 'other way' it can happen. My life is in my hands, .. I am at the wheel. It will come .. when I 'do the right things' ... and I am 'working on it'.

Sooo, my life is 'as it is' because of the things I DON'T do and the things I DO. When I change those things, my life will change .. and that is they way it works. Been that way also for thousands of years. I tell my Veterans Hospital psychiatrist .. "I have a plan .. just trying to put it in motion." He says "I hope you get it moving soon." and I tell him "So do I."

Well, ok, Wandering Vet, if you were to see me at work or somewhere, I look very self sufficient. I can run things very efficiently so maybe I don't look like I need help.

I guess some of us just learn to take care of things in our own way. So others don't offer help to us.

One time I went to a counselor who had 25 years experience and told him I was suicidal and needed antidepressants and he told me to wait until he got written test results back. You see, he had me take some written depression test. WELL, then he called me in a panic that evening. You see, he got the results back and I was almost off the charts suicidal. He said I showed absolutely no outward signs of being suicidal, and he was a very experienced counselor. He was surprised!

So I guess I just fool people because I look calm and relaxed and in control. I don't know why, I mean I don't plan to act that way, it's just the way I am. Maybe because when i was a child it never did any good to let anyone know I was upset, no one cared. Maybe... I don't know.

But I guess you and I give off the impression that we just don't need anyone to offer to give us help.

You sure make an interesting and valid point, Ms. Rachel.

One thing I know, .. I USED to make everyone around me miserable with my 'problems' (possibly/probably why I am now alone). Calling 'em at night in dispair, breaking down in front of them, constantly making my fears known, ... it really ended up driving everyone away. I wanted something to "fix it" all.

That was before I realized I am the only one who can do that. I have 'learned well'. Too bad I could not have learned it much sooner.

Like I say, I am no expert .. but looking back, had I known then what I know now, I would have much more today than I do. My only problem today is the absence of what I drove away with all that failure to own my own life. I have to start all over now .. and do it the right way .. because I did not have it figured out before and it cost me just about everything. I will admit, I don't show it much anymore. Did not work out well when I did that.

BIG apology to SuzyQ. If you ask this question again, "How have people helped you?" I promise I will NOT write anything. I think a few of us have messed up your question which was supposed to have happy answers. I am sorry.

W V You are the most positive, understending ect. you know what I mean

But suzy- what if noone was there?

i feel so sad for those of you that have no one to help you. i realise more and more how very fortunate i am and i should learn to be more grateful.
WV i totally understand and agree with your point about how it is only us who can really help ourselves. no one can fix my problems with depression. my point was that for me, people have done the things they do in order to make it easier for me to deal with my own stuff.
stveG i dont really have any answers for what happens when there really is no one there for you. i have finally learnt that if i need help i have to sometimes scream it from the rooftops until someone listens. i have to be assertive in having my needs met.
i found it interesting to note that some people whom have claimed no one has ever helped them actually do cite a couple of examples, like a caring therapist.
from now on i will try to count more of my blessings and be a bit more grateful.