You need to communicate with your parents better-(I am working on this myself.). They need to know how you feel. Maybe they would be willing to help you find a good counselor or support group to help you with your depression.

Tom B. aka Ihman

i just fin councelling and my dad jst say hell nvr understand and no matter what he wont belive a daughter of his has depression his wrds .ive tried talkin i can tell them most things or so i thought. i jst wrked out with councelling tht my parents lack support and on my back is a major issue 2 me.
thanks anyway tom aka lhman

my parents never used to understand me either. my mum said i was lazy and told me to 'snap out of it'. as for my dad, he just kept on ignoring me, only talking to me when my mum told him to punish me for whatever reason.

you are not alone.

my parents understand a lot better now. i explained to my mum how i felt and told her to read books on depression so taht she could get to understand what i was experiencing. that helped a lot. then she educated my dad about it, and he started being nicer, also it made him scared to punish me anymore because he thought i might do myself in. so that was a bonus.

but really, i'd suggest buying a couple of GOOD depression books and giving them to your mum to read, or even just strategically leaving them lying around the house where your parents could see them and hopefully read them. it is the only way they will ever understand, if they find out about it... perhaps that would be easier than face-to-face convo with them too. i have written stuff for my mum to read, which worked a lot better than talking. she wrote back, and it was helpful.

communication really is key, you have to explain as best you can, i know its hard, you feel so shite, but if you can try to explain stuff to them when they are in a calm mood then that can help lots.

i ended up getting a job at my mum's insistance - it drove me to drink, i used to drink on the job too and i was SO unhappy during those months; my mum could see how much worse my depression was getting and that i was boozing and that made her see that she was WRONG to make me work. after that she was as supportive as anything, helped me with paperwork etc for Disability Benefit etc.

so bear in mind that going out to work could either help you gain confidance, friends, independance etc; BUT it could also push you over the edge, so to speak - it sure pushed me over the edge...

no it's not wrong of you to feel sad because of how your parents are treating you!!! not at ALL! they are your mother and father and you need their love and support; they are not doing their job properly and you are perfectly justified in feeling like this.xxx

crying heals, it really does, feel lucky you CAN cry, i can't, i just feel numb a lot. HUGS

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You could try a different counselor....sometimes you need to "shop around" until you find an effective one.

Tom B. aka Ihman

Some can't understand until they experience it themselves, they just see a lot of weak people around them. Odd how they can all of a sudden identify when they are hit with it. I still can't wish it on them for the sake of understanding. Try to be understanding of THEM, you'll be the one that gets it if it comes their turn. Hugs.

okay you need to somehow make your dad undersatnd that depression is universal; anyone can get it!!

Winston Churchill had it, Princess Diana too; talented people like Kurt Cobain and even Vincent van Gogh suffered depression. if you tell your dad that, and get him to research it, maybe then he will be more open to the idea that you have it as well.

xxx

A good point....her parents need to know more about depression so that they have an understanding of what she is going through.....Hopefully, if her parents had a better understanding of what she is dealing with, theyt will be more willing to help her.


Tom B. aka Ihman

i have tried writting when i broke with my bf in feb as i wanted 2 be left alone an said not 2 mention anything but the wanted 2 talk so writtins out as the want 2 talk and tht makes it worse as i cant anwser satisfactory. i work 2 days a week so 10 hrs a week jst now and yes they think am lazy. dad researched major depression on web when i came home and said thts what doc said was wrong now hes saying am a pupit an doin wht ppl want and listnin no nonsence.
i just cant win

your dad seems like he is not treating you well at all. he needs to show care and try to be understanding even if he doesn't know about depression. he looked it up online you say, and he said that he thought the Doctor was wrong..? i dont really understand what you said...
but anyway he is treating you bad. he needs to learn about it, else he will never get you. sigh. stubborn men who are set in their ways are very hard to deal with when it comes to things like this. they think they know everything already and get mad when people suggest they need to 'learn' things. sigh.
maybe if you concentrated on explaining more to ur mum - getting her to read good books on it etc as well - then she would explain to ur dad that you're really suffering and not lying.

xxx

shes the 1 thts gona throw me out its weird its both them its hard and my dad cant understand y am depressed at 18 all he says is get on with it. u have a strong mind blh blah.mum thinks am lazy should jst forget about college an uni(my dream other words) and get a job in where a hotel a cafe hell how my supposed 2 live on tht no offence 2 people that do i have worked in catering for 6 yrs now hell ive worked for six years were as my older brothers can do whtever they want hell the were gettin the wasshin done by me or mum til year ago hell i still do it when cn be assed do anythin

As a parent of teenagers I have said things to my kids to get them motivated, to do things when I see them lacking. We as parents only want the best for our kids and sometimes we do not take the best route. As a depressed person I fully understand not being motivated and having a hard time functioning in everyday life. It is hard and sometimes I have to make a little goal for myself each day, sometimes I complete it, other times I don't. But the days I do I feel good about myself. Someone who never experiences depression on a clinical level can never understand the termoil we are in..I wish you all the best from both sides...keep communication open...

I agree.. "outsiders" who don't suffer from depression don't "get it".

Tom B. aka Ihman

you`re in the UK right?
there`s bound to be a benefit or initiative you`d qualify for should you find yourself having to leave home.

hope it works out for you though :)

yes i live in uk so i can claim homlessness an get housed by council