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Okay I know I should have posted under advice, but you never really get any answers there.
I had a falling out with my Mom 3 months ago and have not spoken to her since.( its in my journal)
Over the last 6 years I have paid for her cell phone, car registration, car insuarnce, given her at least 5-6 thousand dollars. I recently sent her a letter , in which I told her that I felt she should start paying for this stuff,and to get insurance in her own name and to transfer the title of car to her name as well. she paid car insuarnce,I'm geting ready to transfer car registration to her name, But she has yet to buy her own insurance its still in my name, and she has done nothing about cell phone. I told her I was willing to sign phone over to her.It has been over a month I haven't heard a word from her about any of this.
So my questions is. Should I stop cell phone service? Should I drop insurance as it is in my name?
Help me?? This whole thing is so upsetting..
I had a falling out with my Mom 3 months ago and have not spoken to her since.( its in my journal)
Over the last 6 years I have paid for her cell phone, car registration, car insuarnce, given her at least 5-6 thousand dollars. I recently sent her a letter , in which I told her that I felt she should start paying for this stuff,and to get insurance in her own name and to transfer the title of car to her name as well. she paid car insuarnce,I'm geting ready to transfer car registration to her name, But she has yet to buy her own insurance its still in my name, and she has done nothing about cell phone. I told her I was willing to sign phone over to her.It has been over a month I haven't heard a word from her about any of this.
So my questions is. Should I stop cell phone service? Should I drop insurance as it is in my name?
Help me?? This whole thing is so upsetting..
If you wanted to give it an extra kick and you had the money to do so you could get a lawyer to write the letter.
I am so sorry this is happening to you.
I know she got the 1st letter as it contained the insurance bill, which she paid. I could call her but find even the thought of it to painful. This just riduclus, I really don't to put up with her crap but at the same time don't want my Mom to hate me. I think I'm screwed up!!
I have a little experience with falling out with ones mother although not surrounding money. I had a very very horrific relationship with my mum for almost all my life right from being small and we never made it right but what happened was we kind of started over as friends after my dad died and I am so thankful I got to know her for those 3 years before she died because you really do miss them even if they abused you.
Once the car is registered to her, you are released from liability, so get that done as soon as possible. You will probably find that the State will not register the car to her without proof of HER being insured though, so simply registering the car to her may not be possible. She can't register the car to herself with no insurance.
Some people get insurance and as soon as the registration is complete, cancel the policy. Many states now have rapid notification of that and it does not work out like it used to.
Do NOT drop insurance if you are registered owner and that car is likely to be on the road.
I know of no way for a registered owner to avoid insurance. If you don't tell her "no insurance, no car", then the State of California probably will.
As for phone, .. if phone service, then pay phone bill. If her need for a cell phone is greater than her ability to pay, and you are concerned about her NOT having a phone, then you must pay for it. If that is the case, you might want to get her a phone service that is the MINIMUM pmt plan,.. I think there are some plans with emergency calling and a very few number of minutes at about $15 a month. There are also "pay as you go" plans.
The problem is she has "needs" (transportation and phone) but either no means to pay for them or no desire to pay for them. I would say, if she has means but no desire, .. no phone or car at your expense/liability. If no means, and you are concerned about her welfare, the you MIGHT should be involved. Your call.
I'm terrible with confrontations. But what I would like to think I would do is to give my mother 2 choices and a deadline. Either she takes responsibility for this vehicle, title transfer to her name and her own insurance policy by Dec 1, or you will sell the vehicle. That's how I would do it with my son if that happened. (I hope)
Dang..who is the mother and who is the kid already?
Let her know you are doing what you have to do for your own financial health, (send a text to that cell phone maybe?), and then do it.
As they say, "We teach people how to treat us."
there must be a reason u've been taking care of this?
is there maybe some cognitive issues with her? meaning, has she always thrown u under the bus...or is she just recently a bitch?
I'd be a real smart ass if I were you and they pulled that on me.
It is so much easier to make you the scapegoat that to look where the real problems lie!
Tell them that next time.
Next time they say something is your fault when it obviously isn't, say something like "Well, I guess if it's ME then we all know who gets off the hook, right?"and walk away.
These people don't even sound like they deserve you in their lives.
Hold them up to a standard. Especially that drunken brother of yours. If they can be decent to you, they're welcome in your life. If not, bye.
There are billions of people in this world who need love. You can find lots who would not make you feel like garbage.