Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
So... I have been crying alot more than usual lately. My hormones are out of whack, but honestly I have alot of things on my mind that I am getting help for here and they have all caused me to be depressed and have panic attacks.
The biggest issue is that I cry so much and I like to be alone in my room when I am home. My mother is the first idiot (no offense) to come to me and ask me why I am always crying. She thinks,like I have said in alot of other support groups, that I am over reacting and that I need to stop. She gets frustrated and tells me that my life is a good life and that I need to stop being so "dramatic" over the past.
To top it all off I have had more than 4 suicide attempts and was hospitalized for 1 and sent to the ER for another. They act like I was doing this all for attention, but honestly I used to think that I needed all of the stuff that people say or do to me to end. I need rest in my brain and I need to feel worry free.
When I try and explain myself I get the same "We've all got problems, what makes you so special that you think you have to cry all the time over them" I don't think I am special and most of the time I fight back the tears. My thyroid makes me tired all the time, but half of it is depression.
I have found myself crying in corners on my knees, begging God to take me out. AND STILL, people ask me WHY I am crying all the time. The things that get me down are not easily spoken to family, and that's mostly what I have.. I don't make friends because they judge me on actions they don't understand. (like never turning in my father for sexual abuse, never turning either of them in for child abuse, never leaving my abusive ex and STILL LIVING with my parents now after all the stuff they did.)
How do you explain it to people who have never been through this?
The biggest issue is that I cry so much and I like to be alone in my room when I am home. My mother is the first idiot (no offense) to come to me and ask me why I am always crying. She thinks,like I have said in alot of other support groups, that I am over reacting and that I need to stop. She gets frustrated and tells me that my life is a good life and that I need to stop being so "dramatic" over the past.
To top it all off I have had more than 4 suicide attempts and was hospitalized for 1 and sent to the ER for another. They act like I was doing this all for attention, but honestly I used to think that I needed all of the stuff that people say or do to me to end. I need rest in my brain and I need to feel worry free.
When I try and explain myself I get the same "We've all got problems, what makes you so special that you think you have to cry all the time over them" I don't think I am special and most of the time I fight back the tears. My thyroid makes me tired all the time, but half of it is depression.
I have found myself crying in corners on my knees, begging God to take me out. AND STILL, people ask me WHY I am crying all the time. The things that get me down are not easily spoken to family, and that's mostly what I have.. I don't make friends because they judge me on actions they don't understand. (like never turning in my father for sexual abuse, never turning either of them in for child abuse, never leaving my abusive ex and STILL LIVING with my parents now after all the stuff they did.)
How do you explain it to people who have never been through this?
The only thing I can say when they ask is I cry because I can't help it. It just comes out. Sad, lonely, hurting, angry, frustrated. I cry at LEAST once a day.. sometimes for hours at a time....why? Because that's how I'm naturally wired to deal with things. It sure doesn't help.. and I hate when people tell me to stop crying and get over it. If I could STOP I WOULD. But it just happens...
Hang in there.. and when they ask why you cry, ask why they breathe? You cant help it.
I see it as being rather similar to someone with a very able body standing out in the hot sun waiting for a bus, glancing over at a man without use of his legs passing peacefully by in his wheelchair, demanding of the newcomer, "Hey, what's so special about you? How come you get to ride around in a chair all day while I have to stand up like this with tired legs?"
It's ignorance, quite frankly. And I'm sorry you're subjected to that manner of it when you're already feeling very vulnerable. It's very inconsiderate, to say the least :(
I don't mean to call people idiots, but the constant insensitivity isn't an intelligent thing.
I understand how it would not be easy .. but you need to get away from these people.
You also need medication and intense counseling if you were abused .. especially sexually by your Father.
I have tried to get away tons of times, but I have to keep coming back because everyone pushes me away because I am trying to get over things.
I have talked to a professional about my issues, she did nothing but offend me over my miscarriages and judge the fact that I still feel the need to love my parents, because that's what they are my parents.
I apologize for venting, because I didn't know that you wouldn't look at my background before advising me the same thing that I can't do.
They won't allow me to be on meds because they say they might cause me to attempt suicide again and they aren't good for my hormone inbalances due to the thyroid problem.
I begged my psychiatrist to help me find something that I could take and she said that she preferred that I didn't. At the time my medical insurance wasn't great and she's all that I could see. I do want to see a consular somewhere else but I need means of transport to do so and I am trying, but I shouldn't feel bad that I can't get the help I need because no one will help me get the help I need.
My fiance is trying to help me get my license, but there are no jobs close right now. Gas is too high to ask anyone to take me anywhere and when I asked people to help me go to counseling, I got a stupid look. I don't have friends that would allow me to live with them, nor do I have any that can afford to come and take me to the nearest city. It's been difficult for me. But I AM TRYING.. I promise you that.