Do you have a therapist you can go see? Sorry you are feeling this way. I've been there, I know it's the worst. But you can come out of it if you get the help you need. Hugs.

I sadly Don't have a therapist.. I wish, but I don't know how to tell my parents I really want one... they're going to think this is just a teenager thing, you know, and thank you so much, I just keep trying to hide it and deny the fact that I may be depressed.... thank you again!

Did you? Go to therapy?

I would go to therapy, however you can. If you trust your school counselors, try them. But you need it, and if your parents aren't helping, then unfortunately you will have to try to find it yourself. I'd also tell you to try not to think of it as a deep hole - because you will be looking too far into the future, even though that's where you want to end up. Take it moment by moment, and when you get through a moment, congratulate yourself for making it that far. Make tiny little goals, like smiling once a day, or eating something you really like, or watching or listening to something you really like, and then when you do it, congratulate yourself, and it will be an accomplishment, and then you will slowly start to feel stronger to make slightly bigger goals, and the motivation will come as you do so. One of the most evil things depression does is kill your motivation, and the less you do, the less mindful you are, the more you dwell on the future, the past, and not on what is right in front of you, the more downward you will travel with your disease. Hang in there.

I can side with you completely, as I'm experiencing the same sentiments with my life right now. You can always message me if you want to go into more detail and I would be glad to listen and give some advice that may be helpful.

-dancingintherain

I'm sorry you're going through that, if you have a kik or something else we can text on there and support each other

And Chris, thank you so much, your words really helped a lot

Wow, Chris, that's really amazing advice, I've been struggling with the same kind of thing, so that advice really makes sense to me.

Lumnay - I went to therapy when I was at my worst, and it did help ALOT, but even joining this group / forum is a big step in the right direction, one of the biggest things in moving forward is having an outlet and admitting how you feel.

As much as I hate reading these posts about more people not feeling good about themselves I actually feel better knowing that I am not alone and these feelings ARE real.... My advice is to see a therapist, confide in a really close family member or friend or teacher or someone... And own it. You are depressed. It isn't a sign of weakness. The sooner you come to grips with the fact it is a disease the faster the help and support will start to kick in.

I know I have been depressed and on meds. I got thru the darkest part of my life that NO mother would ever wish upon and yet here I am. Not at my best that's for sure but better... There are some days where I feel like I'm slipping exactly back into that dark hole u talk about and it's almost like it's a familiar "safe" place where I go for self protection but it's quite the opposite actually- it does more damage then anything else. Damage to urself as a person and damage to people around u who love and need u....

I'm always here to listen and I'm sorry if the words I'm trying to write do not come out right... Just want u to know that u are not alone x

The shortcut is to go down to the bottom. Once you are on solid ground, albeit under water, you can plan how to get up.

While you're half way down you don't know the size of the issue.

So just let it happen. Be miserable. let yourself have these thoughts and see where they take you.

I always tell people: go to bed. Cry if you want to. Let it all happen. Tomorrow you'll get out of bed and be in a different internal space. and you need to get to that new internal space because you can't fix your life from where you are now.

You need to shift internally to see your options. You need to turn a metaphorical corner. And to do that you let yourself express your feelings.

Thomas- It isn't just easy to go see a therapist, my parents don't support me in anything, all they do is ask and not give back. And that just sucks in so many levels...I'm sorry you've gone through stuff, no one deserves to feel in some other type of way other than happy you know, but it's life, and I just know I have to leave it to god's hands and on mines cause obviously I have no support from my parents, thank you so much for your advice, ill sure as heck follow it.... haha

Bridgie- thank you so much for your kind words, I'm really speechless, there's no other way for me to fix all this without seeing my problems from another perspective, and now I do, I'm already at the bottom, but I keep asking myself and god to like give me or myself a sign on how to get up, and I just don't want to do it alone, it just sucks to stand up by yourself and have no help or support from anyone, it sucks on another whole of level, it hurts not to have anyone when you're always there for everybody you know.. but again, thank you, I'll remember your words from here now