It's hard to do alone. Can you go to individual counseling to help you with self esteem issues? It's not your fault it's depression and anxiety that is ruling your thoughts.

You need to research counselling and therapy in your area. You need to speak with your family doctor or any doctor about how you are feeling so that they can put you on the path to recovery so you can enjoy life again.

Take Care

I have found that guilt is a wasted emotion. If you truly did something bad, guilt is okay, but then forgive yourself & let it go. Guilt is Satan trying to get into your head & heart, bringing you down-dont let him! ((hugs))

I have all those feelings, too -- and they are very common with depression. And no, it's not your fault. Also, it's very common to feel worse in the morning. When my depression gets bad, I dread going to sleep because I know I'll feel horrible in the morning!

The only way to tame those feelings is to get treatment -- and to take care of yourself by eating right, exercise, etc. Have you tried therapy, or meds?

I am currently on Zoloft, and I've found it's really good for both anxiety and depression. It has really tamed that constant barrage of self-criticism, guilt, dread, anxiety, etc. I really encourage you to look into some kind of medication, if you can.

{{{hugs}}}

yeah, guilt is one of the worst feelings, and sometimes I beat myself up so bad over things that arent even really that bad in the light of things, doing a real good job of it right now, which is why I have come here, hoping for some uplifting.

Please listen to what all these folks are telling you. You definately have to be in some sort of treatment, so if you are not, that is the first thing you should do. Make sure you are safe. Depression and anxiety can be so frightening that it can overwhelm you very quickly. Never be ashamed to ask for help. Never. We are all human, put our pants on one leg at a time. I will say a prayer for you. And good luck, keep us posted!

PRAYING FOR U.
(((HUGS)))).

I would definitely say that guilt, anxiety, shame and dread are very familiar bed-fellows with depression.
Are you not on any medications? If not, you should definitely look into treatment. Mental illness and mood disorders are a real disease that need to be treated just like diabetes.
I have found significant relief on lexapro. I also have had great benefits from my newly started therapy.

You have made a good start by opening up to this support community. There was a lot of hope and healing for me when I discovered that this community really does care about what its members are going through. If you have a hard time relating to actual people, you can practice up here on line. Depression is not a moral issue. You are not 'wrong', you are ILL. HELLO! I wonder how many of us don't make the distinction? I bet it is a LOT!

Hi there, just wanted to tell you you're not alone. I'm going through the same thing now. Anxiety gets so bad that I start shaking & crying uncontrollably. The only that keeps me going is knowing time will heal me. I've been through similar situation in the past and came out of it fine. I made plans to see a therpaist and you should to. Do everything in your power to fight this. Keep strong.

You just said it. Stop beating yourself up.. Yep, easier said then done, much easier to say then to actually accomplish, but with support and caring people, I know you can do it. Whatever you are feeling so guilty over and hating yourself for, please find it in your heart to forgive yourself. Make amends if you can and if you can't, make amends with yourself. Hang in there and keep posting and letting us support you. Hugs GB