Typically I spend the holidays with friends, as I have for the past five years or so.  I have had sort of an "adopted family" because there is a lot of domestic violence in my own family.

In a nutshell, things have soured with the "adoptive family."  I have posted on here about them before, and someone said, "Exchanging one dysfunctional family for another just doesn't seem worth it."  I'm beginning to agree. The patriarch of the family has just become negative and critical, at times losing his temper. He has always been cantankerous, but it has gotten pretty bad.  The big sticking point was that I was and am not consenting to date their friend, (they are of my parents') generation, and the basic response is that it's 'my way or the highway,' as far as I can tell, and because I'm not going to just cave in and basically date my dad or grandpa, it looks like I am being effectively cut off.

I was not invited back for the holiday this year, maybe it's a good thing, I don't know. But, the whole thing feels reminiscent of the sexual abuse that I went through when I was a kid, being assaulted by a caregiver/older adult and then being blamed and cut off.

I decided to handle it differently this year, since other peopole are not responsible for my Christmas, I had one of my own on Friday. It was pretty small, but great nonetheless.  We went to dinner and then I had people come back as I put up a small tree.  It was really great. Unfortunately, I got extremely sick on Christmas Eve and Day, and on Christmas Day had a temperature of 100.  One of my friends called me at the last minute on Christmas Eve to come over for Christmas Day, but alas, I was way too sick. 

It is definitely hard around the holidays, but I find ways to deal with it and enjoy it anyways.  I think that's the best thing to do.