Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
The man that I LOVE disappeared on me. He hasn't called, text, or responded to any of my NUMEROUS attempts to get a hold of him. At first I thought he was hurt, sick, or "booked" but after I reached out to his mother, his best friend, and even his roommate I discovered he was "ok". His mother told me things are not going to good for him and that he has been acting out of character.
So, I began to mourn the end of our relationship. I figured he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I took it hard, extremely hard. I cried for WEEKS; every morning and every night. It was around this time I joined DS. I couldn't get out of bed, I had trouble breathing, all I wanted to do was "NOTHING". I was busy all day doing "NOTHING"... my life stopped. HOW COULD HE END IT LIKE THIS? WHEN DID HE STOP LOVING ME? DID HE FIND SOMEONE ELSE? It was a fairy tale relationship. Something that started in our childhood and blossomed as adults when we realized we wanted more than a friendship.
It turns out he has fallen into a DEEP DEPRESSION, it was triggered by a series of unfortunate events. Before he could recover from one incident he was hit with a few more. He e-mailed me saying he still loves me and he ask for forgiveness I responded a few days ago but he has disappeared again. I LOVE HIM AND WANT TO BE THERE FOR HIM BUT I Don't know how.
I'm thinking of flying to him but I am afraid that when I get there I would have just spent my money and time for nothing, what if he doesn't want me there. What should I do?
So, I began to mourn the end of our relationship. I figured he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I took it hard, extremely hard. I cried for WEEKS; every morning and every night. It was around this time I joined DS. I couldn't get out of bed, I had trouble breathing, all I wanted to do was "NOTHING". I was busy all day doing "NOTHING"... my life stopped. HOW COULD HE END IT LIKE THIS? WHEN DID HE STOP LOVING ME? DID HE FIND SOMEONE ELSE? It was a fairy tale relationship. Something that started in our childhood and blossomed as adults when we realized we wanted more than a friendship.
It turns out he has fallen into a DEEP DEPRESSION, it was triggered by a series of unfortunate events. Before he could recover from one incident he was hit with a few more. He e-mailed me saying he still loves me and he ask for forgiveness I responded a few days ago but he has disappeared again. I LOVE HIM AND WANT TO BE THERE FOR HIM BUT I Don't know how.
I'm thinking of flying to him but I am afraid that when I get there I would have just spent my money and time for nothing, what if he doesn't want me there. What should I do?
If he loved you enough to ask for forgiveness there must still be love there.
But he ran away again.
It really sounds like he is in a lot of conflict. I don't think it is him being out of love with you, rather it sounds like the depression is overtaking things in his life.
Sadly depression is capable of blinding us to the love that is there for us, it can make us look past the help that family and friends are trying to give to us.
My gut is that he really needs to get his depression under control to the point where he can reach out and take the hands that are being given to him.
I like what the others have said here. Reach out to his family, let them now that you care, that you and he had a connection. Give it time. Don't overload him with "I'm here grab my hand" stuff. It sounds like he is not ready for that.
There is a group here called "Depression Supporters"; it is for family and friends of those suffering from depression. They may have a different perspective on this issue for you:
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Depression-Supporters/support-group
Gentle hugs, and a collective thank you on behalf of all of us who have had a friend like you be there for us