Worth what?

Will it do anything to me....or just be a waste of my pills for the month.

It would make you very sick (depress you even more) and, it would be a waste of your pills for a month. What's up?

Stupid little things just set me off. My husband got mad/upset with me Wednesday night cuz he thought I hid his mail from him and made it seem like he didn't trust me so then that just put me in a mood for the whole day Thursday. I can't just flip a switch and be happy. And he doesn't understand that and makes me feel like I am crazy. He thinks this whole "depressed" shit is made up. I just want to end my life because of him sometimes, I just want him to show some empathy when I have these breakdowns.

The one thing we men generally struggle to come to terms with is being able to show empathy and, I've yet to work out exactly why but, I'm determined to find a/the reason.

Tell me more about "this whole depressed shit" which I'm certain is real.

Well it all started almost a year ago when I found out he was using(I knew he had done so in the past but he had told me he was done) so it was very upsetting. I had left my family for him, they told me he was no good but I didnt listen. So I moved all my stuff out of our house and stayed with a friend, he begged me back so I went. I have always been weak like that. I am not sure if its just anger with him still or what it is, but that is what started my whole mood change and "depression". Then on top of that, we got married and moved 16 hours away from any family. I could be doing something I enjoy so much but I just don't show it, I dont smile or anything. Its not that I don't want to be happy, I just don't feel like I know how to show my emotions any more. I hate it as much as he does, but he doesn't realize that. I wish I could just flip a switch like he wants me to but I physically can't, no matter how hard I try or want to.

Believe it or not I have just recently set a goal to become empathetic. I consider myself a good listener and, a genuinely caring person but, are these traits even related to empathy?

I sense you have a very strong handle on how it is to be empathetic, do you think you could teach me how to become like you?

First of all darling, weak is BEAUTIFUL.

Second, he should never have a valid reason to lie to you, three strikes and, he's definitely out.

Three, he makes you depressed, is he depressed?

From the sounds of things your love for him is waning, do you hear the same sound as me?

No he's not depressed, he is one of the happiest people I know. Thats why me being depressed pisses him off. Yes, I agree my love for him is fading...for lots of reasons. Our love life sucks as well, which brings on A LOT of my anger and depression. I have a very high sex drive where as his doesn't even exist. I try to talk to him about our issues but he is in denial about any issue and just calls me crazy and insane.

He appears to be lazy, does he have a job?

Based solely on your description of him, he fails to care about you and, it's doubtful that he loves you, you are his possession only.

I was involved in an identical relationship in my last one, she was responsible for my sadness and, yet was never sad herself. She lied, stole, cheated and, conned me, do you sense your husband is doing the same things to you?

He has a very good job. I don't think he would ever cheat on me, even tho I accuse him all the time....its just my insecurities(which he also caused) He puts me down all the time, and when I get upset he says he's just joking and I need to learn how to take a joke. He is very selfish. We always do what he wants to when he wants to...and thats with everything. Always watch what he wants to, we do his hobbies(never mind or our children's), shopping its his likes over mine(doesn't care if we don't like it, if he does he buys it) going out to dinner is his preference...I never get to pick,even sex is on his watch....like I,said before I have a high sex drive so I want it often but if I ever try to initiate it I get turned down....ALWAYS, but when he wants it he gets it(obviously, since I always want it anyways) And since I am already ranting about him, we weigh about the same...I hate it. He is always talking about how fat he is that its disgusting and no1 should look like him....well I weigh the same as him so that makes me feel worse about myself as well. But he just tells me I carry it different and it looks good on me....in my opinion men should weigh more because the have more muscle and what not. So that's just another way he puts me down...I tell him all of this but he just says I am crazy and continues to do it all. I am so frustrated its killing me. I haven't been myself in months because of him.

You're waiting for him to give you empathy. Like he's holding out on you, right? He's supposed to be supportive, I mean you're married for god's sake.
My parents are the same. I ran myself into the ground so that maybe they would congratulate me. I let my depression show so perhaps they would ask try to help ,e. I even self harmed right in front of their faces. Nothing.
They're not holding out on me. They had nothing to give in the first place.
Don't waste yourself trying to get empathy. Even if he isn't like my parents, it's just not worth it. He doesn't define your self worth.
Your story reminded me of them. I wonder if perhaps your situation is similar. Feel free to dismiss my thoughts if you don't think so.
Also, depression is not made up. It's a literal chemical imbalance in the brain. We are physically incapable of being as happy and motivated as other people can be. The hormones that make you happy and keep order are just messed up. That's not to say that it's incurable, but it is very much real.
I found this explanation as to why people think depression is fake. Have a look-see if you'd like:
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-think-depression-isnt-a-real-thing
First answer by Koyel