It is a big deal... I know losing friends who are actual friends to us is one the of the most unbearable thing to go through because they were the ones that you told everything, ones that you leaned on. I have had that, however everyone experiences it differently.. but with myself I felt as they ripped out my heart and tore it up into pieces.. and that they took part of me with them and just stopped on it.. it's honestly one of the worse feelings... it's really hard for me to make friends cause im really shy and like you have trust issues becuse ive had friends where they just completely took advantage of it.. when I lose one it's heart wrenching... I'm really sorry you lost a friend but im glad you and your other friend made up..

Thank you.
I'm both glad someone understands what it is like and apologetic that you have had to feel the same way. I hope your trust issues get better some day so you can open up to more people and make new friends.

Zane,
It is very hard. When we have mental illness, people are not able to handle it. Whatever you can do to make yourself feel better. When you feel better, people are more apt to stay. I think I can say from experience, as I've been through the same. It is unfortunately. Whatever you can do to be happy in yourself, finish through the grief, and things then tend to fall into place. Be well.
orion

Maybe you need to give L a little space to cool off and then you can talk to her about what happened between you guys. Sometimes we just need some time to get perspective.

Take care,
Kat

right zane; first of all, nothing's happened yet. You 'blew it' 2 hrs ago. Don't expect your friends to get back to you in your timeframe; your timeframe is very small and needs to increase.

Friends stay longer than a couple of arguments. But if you push it, if you have a fight and then keep on picking away at them to get resolution on that day, you will lose them. Most people need a couple of days to gain perspective and ride that sense of anxiety and panic that disharmony causes: this is something you're going to need to learn how to do also.

So some things I had to clamp down on myself and learn:
1. never blow your stack. If you're upset, take time away. a day or 2, to gain perspective, but don't argue if it's not in their style to cope with it.
2. Never chase after someone when you are having an anxiety attack. Have the attack alone, first, and then see how you feel after it is gone. How you feel will be VASTLY different. How you behave will be VASTLY different, and you won't alienate people.
3. People can withstand a lot of misconnections and failures of communication again and again, provided that no big deal is made of it. No post mortems. Every day is a new day. Rip that page out of your diary and start afresh, today, with a clean sheet of paper. Apologise if you have been rude, and then from now on no rudeness, no excuses, no panic attacks. Nothing. Keep all that stuff at home alone with you.

As to trust issues: irrelevant. Throw that concept down the toilet and flush it. What you need to operate from is justice issues.

Treat people fairly regardless of your trust issues. Be reasonable and fair regardless of trust issues. Keep your life in the now, and your trust issues won't exist. Those things are your homework for your free time and nothing to do with your friends. What is a trust issue anyway? Disappears in the light of day. Nobody's asked you to marry them or lay your head on a block or play russian roulette here. They're just trying to function on a day to day basis with you.

So keep it simple, don't overthink it, and do activities when you see these friends, eg go to the zoo or play cards. Don't just sit around talking without any other activity, because that just goes down the casie over time.