Not really new to the group, spent way too much time on here before. Hoped never to come back, please don't take offense, just thought I had it figured out.
It doesn't help that I went off my meds, but in life I have had my ups and downs, and thought I was able to deal with downs.
I have a son and a live in girl friend. Where to begin? Where to end with this rant. With out a whole history lesson on what got me here today, I am just going to rant about today. Seems having nobody to talk to about these things it's much better to write them down. I love writing, every fiction is based on truth, and every true story, has a lie. I'l try not to lie. Heck, what would be the point. This is about me venting for me, right?
So I get up today at 7 ish AM. Late for me, but apparently early for everybody else in this house.
I decided this is the day I'm going to start rewiring the basement. See I live in 120 year old house, and the land lord is letting me upgrade the electrical, he pays for supplies, I do the work. Heck I live here, the way I look at it, its as much for me. So I bought a bunch of wire and assorted parts to start the project, which I will deduct from the rent, but I need to show work before the rent is due, which I might still be short for, so gotta get to work on this stuff.
I spent the morning doing dishes. Apparently I am the only one who can wash a dish in this house, and I don't mean that as an exaggeration, nobody, but me, washes any dishes. I eat, make some coffee, clean up outside and mow the lawn. Do some facebook in between, have a few smokes outside.
Around 1 or 2 they decide to wake up, so now having prepared what I needed it's time to start the wiring project. I waited because it starts by hammering in the new junction boxes.
Girlfriend comes down all needy complaining, complaining, and complaining. Decides her head hurts so she is going to lay on the couch the whole day and invites me to lay on the couch all too. I decline, and as I am getting off to get the wiring done, realize, wait. She has a headache, I can't freaking hammer! She spends the whole day laying on the couch with her dog and some of her cats, I have no where to be, I can't get the work I looked forward to getting done, and all day she whines about wanting me to lay on the couch with her.
Yeah, I know, I sound like such an ass. I spent the rest of the day playing on facebook and going out for smokes. Couldn't sit and watch TV, couldn't work on the project I wanted to work on, I felt caged.
And I know I didn't express concern about her headache, but she is coming off another week long binge of amphetamines where she gets zero sleep and starts hurting herself. She then spends days sleeping and complaining about how she hurts, for one or two normal days, before getting her prescription refilled, or buying more from a friend. So i don't feel bad about how she hurts anymore, she continues to hurt herself and then only lie about getting help as a rouse to get more.
Okay, enough rant for tonight. I feel a little better having dumped some,
Thanks all,
Be Better