Hi. I'm new here. I am having a really hard night with depression and anxiety My life is upside down and has been for some time. There is a lot to it- but I don't seem to be able to make any progress. I am separated from my husband and let him stay in the house with our sons bc at the time he had no where else to go. Anyhow I am living with my aging parents and my mom fell just before thanksgiving which put a lot on my plate with a rocky relationship with my father... My oldest son is on HBL from military AIT and about to go back and I'm empty nest with no nest. 
My estranged husband chose tonight to have one of his depressive cycles where he loses touch with reality and accuses me of both things I've done in the past and stuff he's imagining I do. I think he is drinking again and there is nothing I can do about that. I have no friends, my life was my sons and their competitive soccer and managing around my estranged husband and his mood cycles. I don't know which end is up or even how to move forward. I am so lost. I have an attorney but have stopped the divorce process multiple times. I can't afford a house in my sons school district and my current home has nearly been destroyed by the estranged husband. I need a place for me and for my son and our pets. I need to feel like I have a future and I am worthy. I feel like a forgotten thing. Not human. I'm scared that I am pretty close to w song everything. I don't want to hurt my sons but I can't keep hurting like this.