Good morning Barry! We've "talked" before on DS. Do you have a therapist? They have virtual appointments. It is nice to have someone to vent to. Do you like to listen to music? I put Pandora on on my computer on most mornings. Do you have any interests? When I am free after dinner, I like to watch videos on YouTube, specifically medical and true crime. I am following the Tepe murders these days. I like watching interrogations and trials. I also like music videos. YouTube makes mixes for me. I am not a fan of classic rock. I like alternative rock. My favorite artist is Tori Amos. I love the piano. You are right that we should take care of our health. I joined Planet Fitness 3 years ago. I thought that I would hate it but I love it. I was working out with a friend but she took a break and I found that I liked doing my own thing. At one point, she yelled at me over the phone and that was the last straw for me. She was a flip case and she said the "F" word constantly and was loud. She called me names, picked on me, and freaked out on me. So I am so happy to be done with her. I am having problems with a lot of people, who have been monopolizing conversations. I am feeling like a dart board. So back to you, what kind of music do you like? Maybe I can make suggestions. Pandora introduced me to some fabulous artists. Do you watch movies? I don't watch TV at all, except for at the gym a little. Have you ever seen the movie "Just Like Heaven" with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo? It's my favorite movie. Check it out if you can. Have a nice day!

Is there any way you could be moved to a good care home, like a group home, where you would be around people to talk to?

I totally agree that we should value our health while we have it. My goal for several years has been to get back to the physical health. I have come to acceptance that this is not doable. I can work to improve my physical health but it isn't going to ever go backwards.

You are in a unique situation. Loneliness and anxiety and depression come with some of these health situations. Do you like Old Time Radio as it is called - there are a few online groups that listen to the shows and then chat about them on zoom.

Big hug Barry...I sure hear you

An accident like that is completely life altering

One of my dearest friend's is incomplete quad from a car accident so she has some use of her hands
We've talked many times of the difficulties she's faced

You are so right about health
I was septic a couple of years ago and spent almost 3 months in the hospital and rehab and that's really changed my life

Have you looked into any online support sites or peer sites that may be on Zoom?

Have you thought of doing anything like painting using your mouth?

There may be a number of things you can do using your mouth in the arts if you aren't already

Hasty had a good idea about a group home where you'd have your own room and space but could get together with others when you wanted to

I'm into Youtube and trials as well GreenEyes
There's a lot of good shows on there

I'm hugging you and sending you a blessing...xo

Losing independence must be one of the hardest things for people in your situation to lose.
Curious if your friends ever stop by to just chat and hang out or do you chat on the phone. I wish I was less shy and made friends more easy. I joined a book club when I moved to the area 6 years ago. I go to it almost every month if I can but I never built any friendships outside of that but it is still nice to get some socialization at least once a month. If you would like some book recommendations let me know. I do a lot of audiobooks and through Libby you can check them out for free. Just get a library card from a big city.
It does help to have perspective on what others struggles are so thanks for reminding us to not take simple things for granted.
There are a lot of lonely people out there some even in relationships with SOs and many not physically paralyzed but more mentally.

Thank you all for your interest and good advice.

Hi Barry , I am new here. Reading what you shared resonated with me . I had an accident about 15 years ago, that took my quality of life away. I was very active professionally , physically, socially and musically . I feel that when a person has their health , they have their wealth . Life can change for anyone in a second. In my experience , I do not feel that some people take the time to get try to understand that even though physically we are not the same; we are still the same people with the same hearts . I hardly go out due to my injuries and chronic nerve pain . I do not get emotional support from my only family . It has been a rude awakening for me. I used to feel free and I was always independent my whole life. I , like you Barry do not want anyone to feel sorry for me . I used to go to a chronic pain support group and there was a person there who became a quadriplegic after an accident in his gym . He also found a special on line Zoom support group for people who had become paraplegics or quadriplegics . He found much camaraderie and support there . I am not sure if that would be something you might entertain . That accident not only affected me physically, but emotionally as well. I am a senior and I am grateful that for my whole life before my accident I was healthy, active and I traveled much. I continue to try to make lemonade from these lemons. Take care Barry

Your experiences sound a lot like mine. I have not been out of my home for 13 years except a few useless visits to hospital, and I have not even been out of this room for more than a year.. Best wishes, Barry.