I'm still having such a hard time with my work situation. I've posted about it before, but it really got to me today.  I graduated with a certificate for a new career and just cannot seem to even get an interview. It's just a growing pile of rejection letters. I got another couple of no emails today. I drag myself to work as I just don't want to be doing my current job anymore. I need to because of course bills, but I think it's catching up with me.

My boss was out for quite a while, so I was coming in later. We are supposed to come in pretty early, and it's very tiring. She tells us we have to be there at seven, but she does not even come until almost seven thirty, which irritates me, it's a double standard.  I was putzing around and got to work at seven fifteen, just as she was coming in. I could tell she was annoyed, but what gets me is that she's not even there. Everything doesn't start until seven thirty, so I always stand around for half and hour. Mr. creepy flirty guy won't go away from me when it's dark and early, which is part of the reason I come late, to avoid him.

I know I'm going to get myself in trouble with this behavior. Her double standard is irrelevant because it only gets me in hot water. Otherwise I get along well with her. I should not do this.

I'm so depressed over my job. I'm so bored. It's the same thing all day, so repeitive, been at it for like eighteen years in different positions. It's not a bad job, but I can hardly stand it. The boredom kills me. People are constantly calling off of work and the building is empty. I still go to work, of course, but because no one comes, the apathy overtakes me. Those of us who do show up are upset that no one else is coming, either. It just doesn't seem quite right.

I want to change so much. I worked so hard toward this new career that I reallly, really want. Why is it happening this way? I feel like my life is being wasted here. In fact I know it's being wasted. I really don't make enough money to live, and my new career would give me the compensation I need. I feel hopeless and despondent. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to black out staring at the computer screen.

I think she knows something is wrong, she keeps looking at me funny. And/or she saw the change on my LinkedIn. IDK. This sucks.