Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi everyone,
I have been suffering from depression for a majority of my life but didn't realize it until 2008, a year after my mom had died.
Over the past 4 years, my depression has gone up and down, seeking treatment and going through 3 therapists and 2 psychiatrists. I had taken a leave of absence last year after for quite some time and healed well after that.
Recently, I have been struggling immensely. I am currently taking Cymbalta (mostly to control my fibromyalgia) and Wellbutrin, but it seems they're not working despite increasing the wellbutrin. I have been crying a lot, having nightmares, suicidal thoughts, eating junk/not eating at all some days, and sleeping 12-14 hours a night.
It's been pretty hard at work. I've been getting suicidal thoughts there and I'll come to work crying. I have told my manager and assistant manager in the past about wanting to kill myself and you know what their responses were? "Pretend you're at Disneyland." "But you WANT to work when you're suicidal. It'll take your mind off things!" Easy for them to say! They're not depressed! My depression has caused problems between me and my assistant manager. Last night, as I was at work picking up my check, my assistant manager came up to me and said, "You're working tomorrow from 11-8." and I was in shock. My oldest sister, who is also employed at my work, was there. She doesn't understand what I'm going through. I mean, she has depression herself, but it's better controlled. My sister has been saying that I need to stop overdoing it. I've tried to control it and it's hard!
I've also been saying hateful things and wanting to hurt others in addition to myself. Last night I told my sister my work was lucky I didn't own a gun and that some people I hated should be shot in the face. I'm normally not this way, but I want it all to stop. I really want to get better and go on with my life. I want to return to normal and I want to stop having problems at work.
I have been suffering from depression for a majority of my life but didn't realize it until 2008, a year after my mom had died.
Over the past 4 years, my depression has gone up and down, seeking treatment and going through 3 therapists and 2 psychiatrists. I had taken a leave of absence last year after for quite some time and healed well after that.
Recently, I have been struggling immensely. I am currently taking Cymbalta (mostly to control my fibromyalgia) and Wellbutrin, but it seems they're not working despite increasing the wellbutrin. I have been crying a lot, having nightmares, suicidal thoughts, eating junk/not eating at all some days, and sleeping 12-14 hours a night.
It's been pretty hard at work. I've been getting suicidal thoughts there and I'll come to work crying. I have told my manager and assistant manager in the past about wanting to kill myself and you know what their responses were? "Pretend you're at Disneyland." "But you WANT to work when you're suicidal. It'll take your mind off things!" Easy for them to say! They're not depressed! My depression has caused problems between me and my assistant manager. Last night, as I was at work picking up my check, my assistant manager came up to me and said, "You're working tomorrow from 11-8." and I was in shock. My oldest sister, who is also employed at my work, was there. She doesn't understand what I'm going through. I mean, she has depression herself, but it's better controlled. My sister has been saying that I need to stop overdoing it. I've tried to control it and it's hard!
I've also been saying hateful things and wanting to hurt others in addition to myself. Last night I told my sister my work was lucky I didn't own a gun and that some people I hated should be shot in the face. I'm normally not this way, but I want it all to stop. I really want to get better and go on with my life. I want to return to normal and I want to stop having problems at work.
Peace and Prayers, SBW
Check into the Federal Medical Leave Act. I was under it while I worked. (they can't fire you for missing work due to illness). It helped me alot. I stayed in the workplace about 7 years longer than I could have without it. You get 12 weeks of leave due to illness, either your on or someone in your family. You can take the entire 12 weeks or in intermitant stages. I just stayed on it all year and took a day or two, week, when I needed it.
It is without pay, but hey, they can't fire you, demote you or bitch at you if you are under it.
I've heard of this act. I'll be calling my human resources department to maybe take a small leave to get myself better. I don't care what my family says, but they don't understand, either.
I'll be getting the next 4 days off (scheduled that way) so I'll finally be able to relax. Hopefully I'll be better by Sunday.
BTW, effinellfire, LOVE the kitty avatar!