I honestly wish I could help you but I still struggle except for those rare days that I feel happy. I know you will get some good support here!

I have dealt with it all my life. It has only been in the last few years that I found a combination of electroshock therapy and meds that keep me in a fairly balanced place. I still have bad days, but I can write them off and just say it is a bad day and move on. After three suicide attempts, I am finally in a safe place. So life isn't perfect for me, but it is livable.

Thanks for the replies!

Gramybear: what is different in those days when you're happy?

Hassenpfeffer: how long have you been receiving ECT and how often do you get maintenance treatments? Which combination of meds is helping?

I have been living with Depression for more than 10 years now. A combination of Phsyciatric Therapy, Drugs (Cipralex & Wellbutrin), Exercise and Journaling helps me cope.

I try to allow myself to really feel the emotions ob the bad and good days. The drugs just help that I don't get totally carried away with them.

Hope this helps a bit

I have been dealing with depression for 50 + years - all my life. What helps me: hard exercise, fresh air, time spent in nature, listeining to music and singing and dancing, prayer, support from others and giving support, journaling, therapy, Reiki, art, learning something new so I know that I am growing.

Thank you for so many great insights!

Super Cow: how do you let yourself feel the emotions? I would like to do that but not sure how to do it.

Dancing Toes: 50 years is a long time! When you say these things help you cope, what exactly are you referring to? I mean, are you generally happy?

I find I have little energy and motivation right now. Just feel like eating, sleeping, internet, TV. I force myself to do certain things like school/work, but I neglect so many other things, like showering daily or even brushing my teeth. Even small things like that are a struggle.

I've had better times but it always feels like my "default" is this. It feels like deep inside I have already lost hope. I won't commit suicide, yet I've lost the will to live.

When you girls/guys say you're coping, do you feel most time like I do?

Yes. Well, I hold a job with low stress and minimal human contact. I keep destructive people out of my life. I exercise regularly. I've used methods of DBT. I've expressed really bad days on this forum and have gotten some amazing feedback. I've identified some medical causes of my depression and anxiety (i.e. hypoglycemia, PMS, poor diet, etc.).

I am with Dancing Shoes on this,keeping yourself busy then you have less time to think.
take care
Cathy

Dancing Toes I mean sorry

In many ways I'm similar to Cypressmoon. I make my life as simple as it can be, make time to be on my own if I can, and try not to dwell on things I have lost. I still have bad, dark days but this forum gets me through them.

I wish I could be more positive, but every time I recover from one shit-storm another breaks, so I suppose a lot of my coping mechanisms are fire-fighting strategies.

Walking in woodland, stroking my cat and escaping into crappy novels help me. I used to escape by playing my musical instruments but Poly-arthritis has put a stop to this and the day I realised I had to stop playing was one of the worse days of my life. Not listening to recordings of music I used to play is a safety feature for me!

In many ways I'm similar to Cypressmoon. I make my life as simple as it can be, make time to be on my own if I can, and try not to dwell on things I have lost. I still have bad, dark days but this forum gets me through them.

I wish I could be more positive, but every time I recover from one shit-storm another breaks, so I suppose a lot of my coping mechanisms are fire-fighting strategies.

Walking in woodland, stroking my cat and escaping into crappy novels help me. I used to escape by playing my musical instruments but Poly-arthritis has put a stop to this and the day I realised I had to stop playing was one of the worse days of my life. Not listening to recordings of music I used to play is a safety feature for me!

That's how I have coped with my depression all these years, through therapy,and meds. I also only keep positive, supportive people around me.I have a part-time job, I volunteer at a senior center, and I started a free art program for the children in my neighborhood. You also have good people here, who want to help. It has not been easy, but, I feel so much better about myself than I used to.

So I think I've learned to live with depression and lead a meaningful and generally fulfilling life.

So first I had to learn that meds and therapy could help me but they weren't going to cure me. I had to make some hard changes in my life and my way of being if I didn't want depression to rule my world.

Much like Juice and Cy said I made my life as simple as possible. I also made some changes. I do things even when I don't want to like when all I want to do is isolate I make plans with a friend and I do them. I have daily attainable goals that keep me going when I want to give up. If I'm really bad I give myself a day- one single day to hang around my house/stay in bed/whatever- then after that day I get up and do what I need to do.

Also, I've learned to identify how my depression strikes me. I started by asking myself - is what I am feeling real. If it is what can I do to address it? If it isn't then I don't have to believe, feed, and pay attention to this feeling it will past. For example I often feel extremely stupid- I now know that is the depression because I am in fact extremely intelligent. When I am struggling with bad days I make self-care a priority because that is often the first thing to go out the window for me. Shower, shave, wear clothing I feel pretty in, do my hair, and do an active activity because all those things help me not get lost in my depression

I expect that I am going to have good days and bad days and I don't let the bad days upset me too much- they happen. It's not the end of the world. I know now that they will pass and I will have better days- so that the bad days aren't nearly so bad. Also- I don't engage in behaviours that are going to make my depression worse. I don't self harm, I don't drink or self medicate and I don't live in my head. I talk out loud, I talk to people around me, I come here and talk. Saying things out loud- getting them out of my head allows me a perspective and objectivity that I can't often find in my head. In my head I can talk myself into almost anything really. When I'm really worried upset about the future, how things are going to work out I make a point of living in the the moment, pay attention to what I am doing right now and let the rest work its self out on it's own.

When all else fails I play with my kitties- unconditional love from them and pure happiness.

I've had it on and off since I was about 14. This episode has lasted 7 years and the past few months I did really well because I was back with bf but now we're finished I'm trying to not let depression get me. I can feel it. But I'm trying to keep busy and coming on here, you'll know if it works because I'll let you know, I think it will because no way was that recovery all down to my ex, I just keep reminding myself how if people went through the crap we go through a lot would crumble, yet we're still here. We kick arse, oh and reading Wally's posts always ALWAYS make me smile, even if I'm crying reading them, read her post, she does it daily and it really helps x

Just a few days ago I was feeling like you, maybe worse. I especially know what you mean when you say you won't end it yet, but have lost the will to live and even little things like showering seem monumental. I had this sinking feeling of doom in the pit of my stomach that I just didn't think I could take much longer. THANK GOD the meds seem to be kicking in and I am really feeling a little better. Just a few days ago I was so desperate thinking it would never go away and here I am today feeling better. Are you on meds? Finding the right med or med combination I think is key if you are truly clinically Depressed. Like my therapist said to me, it won't work if you don't need it. But if you do need it, it can do wonders. Are you seeing a therapist? Talk to your doc about starting on a new med. I think it is essential. It was for me. I just hope I continue to improve and don't slip back to where I was, where you are. It is such a dark place. Just HANG ON, it DOES get better. I am proof of someone who didn't believe that just a few days ago . . .keep posting here. We can help support you. I thought the meds were going to take 6-8 weeks to work like many have said, but its just been two weeks for me on Prozac and yesterday was the first day I have actually noticed a real difference. I hope you feel better soon.
Mousie