Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Im 14 years old. I remember when I was little people telling me that my younger years, my teenage years would be the best years of my life. My parents divorced when I was little. I've never struggled in school academically I just struggle socially. I never really got on with other girls at school I preferred to play with the guys. When I joined secondary I found myself with the girls. It was ok. But after a year at secondary I started to struggle. My parents weren't getting on and I found myself in the middle of them and I didn't know what to do. I turned to my friends but they didn't seem to care and very soon I fell out with them. i began to self harm. I was so sad and alone I had no one to turn to I was lost. And then things change. I talked to one girl in my year and found myself getting close to her. She became my best friend. She saved me. Things started to get better. I made new friends. But rather than dealing with the problems I had, the pain and sadness I felt sometimes I just pushed it away and ignored it. But now it's coming back. And I'm scared. I've still got my best friend but something's change with me. I'm scared to open up. To talk about it. I did start to tell someone, a guy who I was very close with. Who I'm in love with actually. But a week ago he left me, told me I was just a phase. It broke me. He was my life boat. And now I feel like I'm drowning. I've got friends but I can't talk to them about this. It's too hard and they don't understand. I know that compared to some my life isn't bad. But it's hell to me. I have no self esteem I hate the way I look I hate my body I hate my scars I hate my stretch marks. I'm so self conscious and don't believe in myself because that's how I've been brough up to think. I can see it in my mums eyes that I'm a disappointment that she's hates how I look and hates me for letting her down. That makes me hate myself. And things spiral out of control. I need someone to talk to, someone to help me understand this. Please
"Lonliness is not the anbsence of people, but the inability to tell them what matters."
Also, if you'd take a look at history, we remember all those names because those people were extraordinary. They went where no one went before, were outragious, genius, daring, cunning. Perhaps not in all good ways.
But no one who was too afraid to try ever got up there. Fear is evolved to save us from physical harm, right? Assuming you live in a country where this is uncommon, I have come to believe that fear is completely unnecessary. What does it save us from? Only great opportunities. What does it take in return? All of your freedom and willingness. It really weighs down on the mind.
What are you afraid of?
Teenage years can be great, but also can be challenging as most teens are trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. I am glad you were able to find a best friend. Friendships can be challenging as we depend on them a lot.
You say that your mom feels as though you are a disappointment- has she told you that? The closer you are in relationship to someone, the more we take to heart what they say/how they feel about us, which makes it very hard if it is your parents that aren't encouraging and even degrading to you... it isn't your fault.
I know that I am a stranger on the internet and therefore the weight of what I say is different than the people close to you, but I NEED you to know that you aren't a disappointment. You are beautiful. You were created so wonderfully and have so much to offer this world. I encourage you to write down your gifts, the things you are good at, and what characteristics make you your special self (ask you friend to help you if you struggle to do this yourself). Keep that list by your mirror to remind yourself who you are and the ways in which you are so special. I also agree with the other comments about going to see a school counselor. He/she could be great support in walking you through things that are hard to talk about with other people.