I have no idea. I'm only 34 and I have issues trying to figure out the same thing. But I try to live in the moment. It's the only time I really and truly enjoy my life despite what physical or mental pain I edure.

I'm struggling with this issue at 45 (and in years past, too, but more so this past year -- given my aging appearance). You're telling my story, without the back pain (I'm so sorry to hear of this). and no chance of having kids, even if I met Mr. Right. Because this biological clock has wound down.

Facebook is downright painful and I get suicidal sometimes when I'm on there, reading about everyone's wonderful lives. Or men post pictures of buxom botoxed women. So I recommend staying away from that crap.

I'm tired of society saying "it's only skin deep" but then it's obvious who gets rewarded. I don't see anyone turning their heads my way.

So, should I take up drinking and drugging?

Maybe I should get a houseful of cats?

oh, that requires getting a job -- but since I'm an unemployed loser who doesn't have anyone or anything -- huh. Well, no cats for me. (I have 1 and that's more than I can afford.)

I don't know what to tell you. There's a menopause page here on DS which sometimes addresses the issue of getting older. There's an aging page on DS, but I think it's for seniors.

Where the hell is the midlife crisis page?

((Hugs))

and it helps if I read that you're a guy -- so forget about the menopause page. Sorry. I'm just a tad self-absorbed tonight. ((Hugs))

Hi there! I think being alone and lonely, is very sad and depressing. My situation is different to yours, but I can relate to what you are going through. I've been a 24/7 caregiver for about 10 years now, and friends and family have disappeared from my life many years ago. So I got used to living an isolated life in my home. My only contact with the outside world, is my e-mails, facebook and the daily Strength site. A while ago I decided to make my own little world more interesting by learning to do something new. I got a book on drawing techniques, and now I'm trying that (making pencil sketches). I also learnt fabric painting, and a few weeks ago I got an old organ, which I love to play. Try to make your own world more interesting, it's really worth it!

As for getting older, I quite like the idea lately. I don't have to live up to the standards of younger people anymore, and can blame my forgetfulness and lack of energy on "getting older". To me this is a new adventure in my life, finding out what it is like to be older. I've never been this old before!

Full moon or no moon, I often get deeply depressed, and sometimes stay that way for weeks at a time. But I know that eventually I'll feel better again, because I always did in the past.

Big hugs to you!

Freedom
Knowledge
More possibility
Self acceptance

When I stop seeing and being thankful for the present moment as it is Ilose my youth no matter how young or old I am.

i cant realy say i relat because i have the husband and the children and grandchildren .......................i am however 56 and starting to look a little older now ...........i always wanted to have a cerare at somthing i liked cutting hair i cut my boys hair every new hair still that came out .............bu because of migrains and depreshion i could not work or go to school past grade 10..................i always felt like i wasent pulling my weaight .................it took a few years to convince that bring up my children was good enough better than good enough ...............i took a good look at my self and found that i liked who i was .................when i turned 50 i did the same thing when i looked in a mirer i felt older but when there was no mirer i just felt like me ............................i couldent live alone i know that much .............and i dont belive it is ever to late to find someone ..............if i had nothing else i would look forward to going to heaven or the other side ..............my brother pased away 7 years ago and he came to me and had me deliver a bunch of mesages and he let me see just a little bit of ware he was and there are no words to discribe what i saw and felt if god would of taken me then i would of gone ....................i dont keep to maney people around me .......i have 2 girlfrends because they wouldent take no for an answer and they are frends with my husband to now we hang out together .................and my family ...............so there are times i do get lonely when my husband goes trapping for a few days and i am depresed and wont go out of the house .....................i think i am babaling ....................i started on here and i didnt want to talk to men .......why .........i was nurvis about it but depreshion is the same mail or femail so i wish i could apoligise to the one i said i wouldent talk to him i dont kno if it was you or not .......................like yourself you are the only one ........................god bless

I have not figured out why I was put here or for what purpose. I tried to find meaning. Now, I am tired. I am worn out from trying. My will to get better is gone.

You do the same thing that you have been doing everyday before 41. Mid life crisis, hell of a bad ride. Women has them too. I am sorry you are in mental pain about this. But, it is never to late to start a family and all of those things. Take it one step at a time.

Pardon me for butting in here, but I just have to giggle at anyone bemoaning old age when they are still in their 40's. Goodness! Everyone knows that 50 is "the new 40" these days, don't they?

I am staring another "Big 0" birthday in just two short months. I never imagined what 60 would be like and never thought that far ahead. But guess what? I'm GOING to turn 60 and it sure beats the alternative!

I LOVED my 50's. Felt like I had "come into my own" - more confident, no need for pretense, started speaking my mind and doing what I wanted to do for a change. Divorce came home to roost in my 52nd year and while it was unexpected and unwanted, I had little choice in the matter as I REFUSED to stay married to a lying, cheating coward.

By 54, I was divorced and 6 months later was fortunate enough to meet the Man of My Dreams. Life goes on and we all have a choice -- we can roll with the punches, or roll over and play dead. None of that playing dead for this cowgirl! I've got a Bucket List as long as my leg and I'm starting to work on that just as soon as this farm is sold -- which right now looks like it will go to closing on April 17th. Woo hoo!

Grab life by the tail and hold on for the ride, my dears. You only get one go-around and this is NOT a DRESS REHEARSAL! xoxox

Hi, I am 52 and i LIKE my age. I have been blessed with good physical health, though. but i fought my way through every year ive lived, because of depression.

People of all ages find their soulmate. Many who are older adopt wonderful children. Its not too late to have that whole family experience.

I think getting out to classes or clubs that center around hobbies you enjoy is the first step to meeting someone compatible.

How do you live?

Hmm...

I suppose focusing on NOW is the biggest thing for me. Look around, see all the amazing things, try to keep my mind on those. I firmly belive that growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional...there will always be a part of me that watches cartoons, plays in the rain and and can sit and stare at the snowfall for so long that others fear that I've fallen into some type of trance.

How to stay young at heart? Look for the magic. It's there. The big black curtain just hides it...

Feeling the same way at age 45. Up until this point I always felt so young at heart, but now this terrible illness has taken full grip of my life. Without having anyone to share all the wonderful things in life. These things just don't seem to be half as wonderful as they really are. It took me eight years to move on from my last relationship to finally find that right person, and that was being in a good state of mind. How many years Will it take just to be in a good state of mind first off, never mind starting to look all over again for someone.

I push through whatever physical or emotional pain I may be in, and continue to exercise as much as possible.

As you said, your pain has made you STRONGER! Yeah, you're not a young, tender 20-something kid anymore, but you have a wealth of EXPERIENCE to offer someone. Try to lean on your strength as your bright side.

I continue to learn, so my brain doesn't turn to total mush. Current events, science, technology, the arts, entertainment...I try to stay up with the latest, greatest. It's all a game, that keeps my mind occupied.

I hang out with younger people-! People who are fun, energetic, physically active, in good humor. Some 18-year-olds are old souls in young bodies, bitching complaining. Some 55+-year-olds, as we see here, are still young at heart! It's all in how you look at things, what you choose to focus your mind on.

You can't dwell on the past and look at what "might have been". All you can do is try to create something good, pleasurable, fun, right here and now, where you are.