Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have noticed how hard it is to look forward to simply grooming myself well when I am having an "off" day or a spell of "off" days.
Some days, if I have nowhere to go, I stay in pajamas or lounging clothes, don't get a shower or bath, and I really feel worse about myself. I am not prepared to get out of my house if the opportunity or desire presented itself.
Last year, I made a pact with myself that I would not leave my bedroom/bath until I at least brushed my hair, brushed my teeth and washed my face, and this has been a step I have been faithful with and it has helped some. But, it is just a baby step and not enough.
I think it is so hard to care about more than the basics of getting clean and neat. I rarely care about makeup or taking less than 5 minutes to dry my hair.
When, on occasion I do take an extra 30 minutes or so to improve my appearance, maybe style my hair, put a minimal of make-up on, put a pair of earrings on, file my nails and put lotion on, I do feel better from these actions. But for some reason, I resist making this a daily practice, and I am not disciplined at it.
It seems like even though I know better, if no one outside of my house is going to see me, then I don't think my appearance matters. And yet I SEE ME, and it matters to me when when I look in the mirror and feel that even with my obesity and depression, today, I am doing the best I can for me, I am ready to face the day, vs. I don't matter enough to go through the motions of grooming my appearance to feel proud or acceptable.
Does anyone else experience this? Will you share your feelings and experience? I have struggled with this all my life.
Some days, if I have nowhere to go, I stay in pajamas or lounging clothes, don't get a shower or bath, and I really feel worse about myself. I am not prepared to get out of my house if the opportunity or desire presented itself.
Last year, I made a pact with myself that I would not leave my bedroom/bath until I at least brushed my hair, brushed my teeth and washed my face, and this has been a step I have been faithful with and it has helped some. But, it is just a baby step and not enough.
I think it is so hard to care about more than the basics of getting clean and neat. I rarely care about makeup or taking less than 5 minutes to dry my hair.
When, on occasion I do take an extra 30 minutes or so to improve my appearance, maybe style my hair, put a minimal of make-up on, put a pair of earrings on, file my nails and put lotion on, I do feel better from these actions. But for some reason, I resist making this a daily practice, and I am not disciplined at it.
It seems like even though I know better, if no one outside of my house is going to see me, then I don't think my appearance matters. And yet I SEE ME, and it matters to me when when I look in the mirror and feel that even with my obesity and depression, today, I am doing the best I can for me, I am ready to face the day, vs. I don't matter enough to go through the motions of grooming my appearance to feel proud or acceptable.
Does anyone else experience this? Will you share your feelings and experience? I have struggled with this all my life.
It wasn't always easy. I would sit there and play with the thoughts that it wouldn't kill me not to shower for a day, that it was ok for me to stay in my jammies, that I would just mess with it *tomorrow*....but....the thing that made me push through and shower and dress was because I knew if I let it go for one day, it would be easier and easier to just let it go for 2 days....4 days....a week, etc. I felt like if I could JUST do those things, I'd be alright and feel better and not get on that track of not doing it.
*Hugs* to you all!
The sooner I can take any small actions in the direction that feels healing, the better off I will be.
The more I avoid what I need to do, the easier it is to stay in that miserable state feeling hopeless and the less and less motivation I get ....days can turn into weeks.
omg, I totally think I do that...abjudicate my own body!! I overanalyze everything to death before actually doing because I anticipate the way it will make my body feel. I will avoid doing dishes because I hate the way water on the floor feels or crumbs. I have to always wear flip flops in the kitchen for this reason. I feel my whole body tense up if water or crumbs get on my feet. That is just the tip of the iceberg..I can go on forever about what makes me uncomfortable physically so I just tend to avoid, well, life to avoid unpleasant feelings. I think I might have a touch of ocd.
Heretic, thanks for chiming in:) I still think about you when I go for my walks. I'm proud of you for keeping up the posts. I had two of my down days this past week and I avoided everything including DS so it's good that you are at least putting forth your energy in to something positive like DS. Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you.
KoKoah,
If you haven't already had a comprehensive health check up, please do so! It sounds like what you are describing could possibly be medical. I have sleep apnea and don't have my cpap machine yet so I'm constantly tired. I also suffer from asthma occasionally and this can also make me feel just like you described. It could also be something really strange...my mother-in-law has a weird lung disease called sarcchoidosis and she has a hard time with energy and breathing when it acts up.
I'm not suggesting that if it is medical that your prayers will be answered and you will magically have the energy of a teenager but it may be worth looking in to if it helps make you feel less depressed. Some health issues are directly linked to depression like sleep apnea.
Hugs to all you wonderful people. This was a great post to ignite some great thoughts/replies.
I get the whole over-analyzing things and avoiding life to avoid unpleasant feelings. ... I have done that alot, tried to simplify my life, my schedule, my relationships, my duties, my calendar, my expenses, .... and life seems to be shrinking instead of expanding. When I am trying to avoid living due to fear of uncomfortable situations, and unpleasant feelings, or the fear of confrontation or difficult people, I get focused on staying home, being in comfort.
Home is a nice place to be, but a nice balance of social interaction and events to look forward to are good, too. It seems even when I sign up to do something positive and healthy for myself, I can get in situations that I feel so uncomfortable just because of me having a hard time setting boundaries with my time.
It seems like if there is a needy person, they can weed me out a mile a way, and then have no common sense for time boundaries, and while everyone else is gone, there I am, being a patient avid listener in the parking lot wanting to get home, but too afraid to cut the person off for fear of hurting their feelings.
So, even when I am out trying to push myself to take better care of myself and get involved a little more in life, I have some struggles.
I realize though that trying to avoid life is not the right answer for me. So, I desire to find friends who have understanding and kindness, that respect boundaries, and that I can feel comfortable being myself with. This is easier said than done.... it is not so easy to make friends sometimes, but I keep trying. I did the morning shower today, too before running errands. I hope to keep it up!