Today i am just so jealous of everyone around me- i know things are going good for me and moving forward- but til i get a job- i'm stuck in this pathetic , hopeless situation ! i'm jealous of my friends Micheal and Lear- they found happiness, are in love and engaged, expecting a baby in oct, and are living together... seems like some people wish for things and poof it just happens for them ! but things aren't so great for them - he just lost his job and she is on disability and can't work... they live in a run down trailer that doesn't even have running water! so why am i jealous of that !? i'm so conflicted ! i'm even jealous of my sister- she just doesn't understand- its so hard to see happy people around u all the time ! she and her hubby don't get along and aren't in love - but they are together and have kids and a house and get to do whatever they want - whenever they want- and i'm jealous of the fact that she has someone even though its not for the right reasons and they never really get along- being alone and lonely sucks ! the love of my life is in florida waiting til i can save enough to get myself there ! and its not fair ! yep i said it- i'm whining and letting the green eyed monster take over today ! i just want to scream and say - where is my happiness and why can't i get what i wish for God ! why am i so lonely and alone and depressed- why can't u put that one someone else ! for once i'd like to be happy and have the things that seem to come to others so easily ! why must my life be so hard ! if one more bad thing happens i just don't know how i'm gonna handle it- i'll turn into a shell of a person and just lock myself in a room or commit myself and be miserable- cause i feel for every step i make forward - something happens and knocks me back to the ground.......