Yep! Me too!

I NEVER asked to be born...


Well, WE are HERE!

My grandchild is my lifeline!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This will pass with time but your not alone with the pain. Just take it day by day. Moment by moment focus on today not the past not to far in the future. I guess also look at what are you doing for yourself?

I have thought that so many times!
I feel like an alien on a plantet on stranded on. Sometimes I ask, "Whos life did I fucking hijack?"

I just dont feel I should be here is all, but I keep trucking and helping out where I can.

The people that hold us here, are people that give a shit, but what they dont realise is we feel trapped. Shit I have even done it to other people. I tell them that "leaving" is not the answer and since we are stuck here..to help people.

Guide that person that doesnt know whats going on, that is scared, and doesnt know what to do. Thats my take on it, and thats what I try to do.

I have had this feeling to. So many times I hear others saying things I have thought. I really think it's a symptom of depression. When depressed, I think it is natural to ponder these thoughts. Yet, that does not make it easy. Since we really were not given or don't have a choice what Mr. Tyler (above) said makes sense. Let's try and do the best with what we have. Try to encourage someone else and do something to encourage yourself. Hang in there. I know the feeling.

I hope this isn't a 'trigger' and not offensive to anyone. I hope it just gives another way of looking at things. If it comes across wrong, I apologise, but its meant to be positive, not negative. Depends on the interpreter I guess.

If someone tells me I shouldn't or can't... it makes me want to.

So I've given myself the option that if ever I am in a place where I have tried and tried and I am just not benefitting from or contributing to this life, am chronically depressed, devastated and suffering and it is just too much... then I may be kind to myself and let myself go.

I've been there a few times now, where I have been considering my 'release' option, and its made me feel that I would be wasting this once in eternity chance at life. That I'll be a long time dead and I might as well try do some more stuff while I'm still here. If it doesn't work out for me, then I can always reconsider my 'release' option again. I'm not locked into anything I don't want. My life is my decision, not what someone else dictates to me.

I know it sounds stupid, but its like knowing you're gonna go blind as you sleep tonight, so you spend all of today really looking at and appreciating stuff that you normally wouldn't see. But if you knew you could never shut your eyes for all eternity, you wouldn't wanna look at anything and would just want to shut your bloody eyes and get some peace!

One of my fave sayings is-
"Don't take life so seriously, its not permanent"

Thank goodness.

Thanks for your responses..
One of my dilemmas is to just sit this 'life' out, sorta speak, and wait til I die or use my own 'release' method..
This is going to sound absolutely crazy but I acknowledge that I have an incredible 'FEAR' of living..I am existing here, not living; and it's litrally hell on earth. I am a dead-man walking; placed here kicking and screaming - like a child being sent to school for the first time not wanting to be dropped off & being separated from his mother - resenting/refuting every moment; counting down the hours/minutes until his mother picks him up to take him home..