Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
i've learned a lot of ways to manage. to be ok.
but it doesn't always work. sometimes the sad slips through, i choke up and feel utterly bereft. up to the very rim with grief.
those moments are tough. not my favorite. i have a lot of health challenges. today i pushed to go beyond what i felt able to do --- the pain mounted, then i cut my hand. i was removing the blade thingy from the little food processor.....and cut the side of my hand. not too deep, but enough to sting.
for some reason the band aid wouldn't stick, so i used another, then another and yet more band aids. felt like i was living a metaphor. i got some triple antibiotic ointment and then tried making a circle of band aids around my hand. creating a band aid bridge if you will....all of a sudden i felt too alone. on a precipice........told myself I CAN DO THIS.
i called someone.......a family member. first thing she said," Why are you calling me?"
I said,"to hear a friendly voice......."
I didn't stay on long......note to self, this was the wrong person to call while feeling blue.
Second note to self.....when someone calls me make definitive effort to be welcoming......to be kind. To be glad and let the other person hear the sound of gladness.
To be willing to learn to do better in care of self and others.
I just took two loaves of banana bread out of the oven, the kitchen smells great.
Wish I had a friendly visitor to sip peach tea with and share this banana bread.
We all need to take care of ourselves........to be kind, to be gentle, to find ways to pamper the spirit.
And share virtual hugs..................really tired now, but I feel calm, so thank you for letting me post and regain enough ground to find my feet.
The point is you can make a change on that, do what you think is best and stay safe. .
Change takes more than one..........change is a give and take relationship. I was a member of my church for many many years, they know I am disabled and yet until last year no one ever offered to visit despite my asking. So in all this time there was one visit. It was a good visit, intelligent conversation, laughter and a feeling of connection. I fall through the cracks like many disabled people who live alone. Compassion is not directed my way. I've always been a very independent figure things out kind of girl.......I have learned these last 11 years in particular that the world is fast paced, when you can't keep up due to ill health, no longer able to work people disappear.......move on. They think well of you, but the outreach is very limited. I've worked very hard for the friendships I have........and I've tried to let go of all those who let me go, friends that said I'll never kick you off my island. The reality for many is that they don't know what to do or what to say in the wake of ill health.........chronic illness that doesn't end. They go forward.........change lanes. Drop you gently and decisively on your silly lonesome head. Your heart cracks a little more. I've dusted myself off many times. Have a can do spirit........as in knocked the T off the word CAN'T. I set goals, I work hard on life and I love to laugh and be around others. But I am the girl who slips through the grate as all the people rush by me..........I'm not a giant pity party, I've learned that this is sadly a lot of how it is. People cease to see you in tangible ways. ........Today is not a sad day at all.......I felt well enough to do a lot of chores.....tidy my cottage and look ahead. Wishing you well ,,,,,,,,enough of my musings. Got to go fold a load of towels! Today I'm making chocolate chip cookies. Yay!
Have you tried nextdoor.co.uk - it is a community based scheme. I have made local friends on it.
Loving Kindness
Janus
My Depressing Depression Blog
www.madd365.com
not everything requires a solution .......sometimes a person just wants to be heard and supported. my life can be tough........i have had to come up with a lot of ingenious solutions for problems. in 2010 i set some goals for myself, One goal was to be able to well enough physically to get to go to a local community group to have lunch and know my neighbors better. the first time i was able to go was four years later. i have illness to such a degree that visits with family can knock me down and take me weeks to come back up to the surface. at one time family came to visit for three days in April, the next time I was able to get back out of the house was Thanksgiving of that year. my health is tenuous........the main illness I have is invisible as are the majority of people who have it. when there is a march in Washington DC for this condition people send their shoes only........for they do not have enough strength or ongoing wellness to be able to travel, or march or any of the things a healthier person could do. i'm in a different lane. Four years ago i had to have in home infusions managed by an RN to increase my gammaglobulin levels. I thought the doctor was having me on the day she told me i had hypergammaglobulinemia.......it sounded like an illness made up for an episode of Star Trek. The medicine given to "help" rebuild my ability to withstand germs wiped me out for almost three years. It gave me migraines and other side effects like hair loss.
I do try.......I work hard to give equal time to hurt or anger as I do for good and gratitude and joy on the hard days. We all have our own problems but I promise I do give a lot of effort.........my daughter and my son get it, they tell others that our mom has to count every step. those steps are limited and then my body shuts down again to begin that slow rebuilding of a very precious pocket of limited energy.
i chose blue skies and fluffy clouds to remind myself to always look up.......to give thanks........i rarely get to go out but when i do i'm all in, i'm happy and excited to create memories to help me through all the days at home. but i am not down and all day in and day out..........we all have realities to deal with. i used to be a very healthy active woman with a lovely career. illness meant a lot of changes, but i have much to be proud of and thankful for.
sometimes all i need is someone to say i get it.......i hear you hon!