Earlier this week, my father talked to me about a cousin who recently purchased a new home (the word million dollar was said) and how he had a great job. When I saw this cousin the last time, he was working the assembly line at a salsa company. Not surprisingly, my father asked when I was getting a job. I responded I put in application after application, but get no reponse. "Oh, so everyone can get a job, but you?" I walked away at that.

My birthday is coming up soon...more than 3 decades of failure and opportunities wasted on me. I'm told not to live in the past, but it's only there I have the illusion of a better future instead of the realization of a failed present and a disastrous future. Forget being on a river without a paddle, I'm a boat in the middle of the ocean without a paddle or compass, far from land.