I hope you will get some counseling. Your well being is at risk.

Hang in there. Sending you lots of love and hope. Please don't end it...Since you're still here, you still have many opportunities to find your peace. Whether that's through your hubby, through your thoughts, or something else, find it, and hold onto it. We want you to be here, and we want you to keep living, please! <3 Vent away, but please keep going and pushing through.

I’m very sorry. Please don't harm yourself.
We are here for you. Venting may help you to feel better so please keep sharing.

I hope you will not give up and will remain hopeful. I pray for peace and things will get better for you. God bless.

sometimes realizing that this darkness will pass, eventually can be helpful

New years is a very hard day to endure for many of us, It represents an ending of a years time we look back on that many of us resent and regret. Along with some disagreement with your hubby only made it worse. I also have been like that where I go and try to do something else till the storm passes (artist also and love to draw) and it sounds like the storm just got worse. What happened next is actually not uncommon, being swept into a dark place that put you on the precipice of life and death.

So now you must recover from an emotional 'car-wreck-into-a-tank-that-was-on-fire-from-a-raging-dragon-in-the-middle-of-a-zombnado (Sharknado is getting stale)-while-realizing-your-Pepsi-has-gone-flat!' day.

You probably feel very upset, maybe embarrassed, and more alone than before, but your not. You have us, read each of the comments above and use your artistic talent of visualization that I know you have and when you read each see this person in your mind. there not uncaring doctors in white coats or therapists who try and be the 'friend' (no offence to them, they definitely help) in an hour.

Who's WanderingVet? a soldier who suffers from PTSD? who took the time in his struggle to reach out? 'Itgetsbetter25'? who shed a tear when you said 'unfortunately'? eli_mom? who immediately said a prayer for you if you believe or not? 'Whatswrong19? ...is she/he the Cheshire cat from the grin in his/her avatar? who's this nut who calls himself 'Kingsolomon'? isn't that the dude from the Bible with a 1000 wives (lol, a 1000 women? wow. even the strongest of us can barely handle one....by saying 'yes dear' A LOT)? or just some guy who hopes that a little wisdom can help you through. Theres one more who wants to help I think, that's your hubby. make a resolution to get closer to him and fight life together. Love

Thanks all. I greatly appreciate all of your support and uplifting messages. Hope everyone is doing well. Many hugs to all!!

So sad.....