Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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cloudiesoul 05/12/2015

I don't know what my problem is lately. I just... really don't like myself. This will sound silly, but looking at myself in the mirror instantly gives me the feeling of "ugh". I shouldn't feel that way. I've been being really hard on myself lately too. (not that I've ever really been easy on myself. lol) I've called myself "fat", "lazy", "useless", "stupid", "ugly", "mean", "bitch"...etc. Why? I don't know. What I do know is that I really feel all those things apply to me. I've gained an obscene amount of weight lately. Not that I base my self worth on my size, but it isn't helping. Then I wonder, am I gaining this weight because something else is wrong?
I have an amazing boyfriend who is supportive & constantly tells me I'm beautiful & he loves me. I tell him he's dumb for thinking that. Why doesn't he see what I see? Why can't I see what he sees?
I don't know how to get over this funk. I have no energy to do anything, and honestly no desire to. And I know some will say "think positively". My brain isn't programmed that way. It never has been.
I'm not fishing for compliments. Honestly, compliments make me feel awkward. I just.... I don't know. Maybe I just needed to put this down in words. Maybe I'm hoping someone has a miracle cure for not feeling like a waste of oxygen. Heh.

hope1971 05/12/2015

I can relate to everything you are saying. I have said those things to myself and my hubby is extremely supportive and tells me I am beautiful etc. I am in the process of finding the true me, stepping out of what for years was my comfort zone. When I am given a compliment even if I don't think I deserve or want it I say thank you and move on. I can't control others thoughts or feelings. Just my own!
So I won't tell you to think positive, but I will say do what you need to do for yourself and that I am here if you want to chat.

AnxietyFreak40 05/12/2015

I think many women suffer from these kind of self esteem issues. I instantly reflected on similar conversations at home. I'm sorry, I don't have any answers. I will tell you that you are not alone. Hugs

lostsoul72 05/12/2015

I think we all go through stages like this in life. I can relate as I have felt this way most of mylife. If you let your BF compliment you and tell him TY would be a start. Just as you dont like to here his compliments. He dosent like to hear hes dumb. He loves you for the way he see's you in his eyes and that is beautiful.

You are being to hard on yourself and I can also relate to that as it took me 40 years to start seeing the good in myself. :( I still strugle with that daily, but we all have some good in us and need to recognize that.

I hope something I said can help you even though i was just rambling.

Best of luck and big hugs!

cloudiesoul 05/12/2015

Thanks everyone! It's helpful just to know that I'm not the only one who feels or has felt this way. I WANT to like myself, I do. It's just so damn hard to look past all the faults I see. I don't think I'm a horrible person, so I guess that's a start? lol! I was doing really well for a while. I was comfortable in my own skin & ok with who I was. Then something changed. I don't know what. Maybe it's just a self-loathing phase. Who knows. It's just frustrating to go through each day having to pretend that you aren't annoyed by being you. (i hope that makes sense)

survivor69 05/12/2015

REMEMBER, THE LORD LOVES U NO MATTER WHAT U THINK ABOUT YOURSELF SWEETIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GBU
D
;-O

alanav21 05/13/2015

I've felt that way about myself most of my life. I also have a hard time thinking positively. My self esteem is practically non existent. I agree with lostsoul, take the compliments whether you believe it or not. I try to just say thank you even though in my head I'm saying "are you blind? Stupid? Insane?" I hope you feel better about yourself very soon.

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