Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I'm 67 years old, married to a good man (my second marriage) for 17years. Between us we have 5 children and 5 grandchildren. We live in a retirement community that is very active. Over the years I've joined clubs, zumba classes, went to clubhouse dances. We had a group of friends that we did things with for years. Lately that all seems to be changing and the group has drifted apart. We all have had our health issues and I know that is the reason. We're just not as young as we used to be, we're busy with our families. My husband and I have had a lot of health issues, surgeries, and financial issues that have kept us from participating like we used to. When stressed/overwhelmed I retreat into a shell for awhile until things are sorted out I've been like that all my life, I cant change that. Is it wrong to expect a friend to reach out to me to ask how I'm doing/ or where have you been? No one calls anymore or stops in. Not even our neighbors. Two houses away are what we considered our closest friends. They just stopped coming around or calling, even though we reached out to them. The men are ok, he went back to work..understandable. But her and I were always together. She and I belong to a weekly lunch group that I introduced her to. I haven't been able to go because of money/doctors appt. She's been babysitting a lot, so she doesnt go a lot either but still keeps in touch with them. It really hurts me that noone calls me to see how I'm doing, not even her. I had surgery this summer. Only one from the group sent me a card. She stopped by once, but I haven't seen her since. She just had another grandchild. She usually comes running over to show pictures. Not this time. She shared with the group in a text, if it weren't for that I wouldn't have even known the baby was born. That's how they all communicate, texting. For reasons unknown and an antiquated phone, I get all their texts but when I respond they don't see it, or they just don't bother to respond acknowledge me. I've missed activities with them because of it, couldn't get tickets to a play because I couldn't get through in time. I reached out to them individually to give condolences, best wishes, with no response. But no one bothers to check in with me. They do with one other in the group that doesn't text at all. They all send flowers and visit when someone is sick. I'm babbling now. Just feeling sorry for myself. People come in and out of my life so quickly. I feel like I haven't a friend in the world, forgotten.
Perhaps you can ask them about free/inexpensive activities that you might get involved in.
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As for that group of friends...I can't explain it. Sometimes people just are selfish but sometimes they're just overwhelmed by their own lives. Not everything is as pretty inside as the posted pictures look.
In any case...I can't imagine that you're alone. Look for the social worker, activities director or something like that.
Hugs, Patti
Sorry you're feeling alone and forgotten. I think people get caught up in their own lives, so those of us who don't or can't socialize with them are an easy time saver for them. I like the suggestions of the others. Sounds like you have a great family! God bless.
I hope you reconnect with your old friends.
Know that it is not you.
My problem is I don’t know why they choose me to hang around at first and once I help them in areas that they not good in they love me for that. But later on once after I’ve given my time & love towards them they suddenly stop contacting me.
Here lately they pretend to be so busy, want even call nor text.
Anyway I do believe what we do for others God is going to reward us even more.
And what goes around comes around.
Feel free to message me any time
I think people in general these days stick pretty much to themselves and ‘reaching out’ in person is kind of a thing of the past, partly due to social media and the internet which are the preferred ways of communicating now days.
I hope this forum serves you well as a place to talk about how you’re feeling and get feedback. That’s something we all need, especially people suffering with depression.
It’s perfectly natural for you to feel a bit neglected and sorry for yourself, but please dont let this be the last word. Maybe your lack of connectedness could act as encouragement for you to become more self sufficient emotionally. Becoming more self sufficient was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I have idea where to turn for a friend...I do have a hobby....i do have the ability to get out every 10 days or so with my daughter winters coming and its such isolation there are days that one cannot control the loneliness I'm sorry for you as I can relate to the emptiness I do hope things get better for you
But I also don't get a lot of it in return, either. I don't think it's necessarily intentional but often times people are just so caught up in their own stuff that it doesn't occur to them to reach out to other people. And sometimes it's a misunderstanding that goes unsaid. It's possible that they don't understand your need to retreat to yourself at times (I am an introvert so I completely get that) and maybe they read that as you want to be left alone.
For me, I continue to reach out to people. Sometimes it's just a simple text to ask a friend how I can pray for them that day. I take charge of what I can control - myself. And I pray.
Do you ever stop by your neighbor's house to say hello? Or send cards? Perhaps that might open the door to reignite the relationship. I know it would be nice for them to make the first move but unfortunately it doesn't sound like they are doing that, for whatever reason. It may not be at all what you think and perhaps by making the first move you will discover again the friendships you used to have.