Forgiveness is hard I think. Yes people will say that forgiveness helps the person but I find it hard. I guess you can forgive but never forget what has happened. It seems to me that you need a new perception of yourself that builds around the thinking of you are worthy of love..You are worthy of people's attention. It seems I am having the same struggles as you, with finding my new perception of myself as well.

I hope you will find your new perception because living out the old perception makes for a hard road to travel. Its very lonely to feel you are unlovable. When each one of us just want to be loved and valued in this world. I don't know you personally but you are lovable...I wish you good luck as you travel the road to finding your true self filled with compassion and love for the person you are....Take care of yourself always!

I know everyone will tell you to forgive. I think you need to let it go. I also think you need to understand that he is the way he is and he doesnt know different. Also dont expect him to ever change. To forgive someone for being the way they are is good for you. This does not mean you have to like, love or have him in your life. I know this is easier said than done, I am struggling with it too. But I know if I (you) can get to this point I (you) will feel better. Just ask God to help.

I don't believe, for one second, that all people need to be forgiven.

In my situation....It is easier for me to forgive.....not to forget

I can relate to your experience. I was surprised to learn about myself that I needed to grieve. Grieve for the loss of a father and grieve for that part of my childhood. It was the hardest thing to admit to myself that I felt loss and grief for a father, for my father, for my childhood. I did not forgive him. But I did forgive myself for feeling such immense hurt. It took me a long time to come to terms with the experience and a few years of counselling. I use to blame myself. I wasn't a good child I use to think. I could waffle on but am sure you know what I mean. There are so many issues relating to this experience. Message me if you just want to chat:)
*sending* you ginormous hugs and yes! you are lovable

I think there are two types of forgiveness. The first one is the type that erases the past, and allows people to resume their relationship, perhaps even grow closer. (Even in death.) All is forgiven.

Then there is the type that says: What you did was wrong, it has dramatically changed our relationship, perhaps even destroyed it. But I am going to forgive you so I can get along with my life, and put what you have done in my past.

Perhaps there are more, some that are a blend of the two I've been taught. The path you choose in this forgiveness maze is yours. But from what people have said here in the past (about this issue) look to forgiveness as a way to let you keep the past in the past.