Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello everyone,
I have been active posting on other boards but this one I haven't. I am going to share what has been going on with me and I will try to keep this is as short as possible
Over the past 5-7 years I have had a really rough time. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had my fianc cheat on me and call off the wedding, lost a group of friends during college that started off as a misunderstanding that led to me feeling isolated the remainder of my time in college. Most recently the guy i was seeing for over 2 years broke up with me. After 6 additional months of back and fourth i finally did walk away because it was dragging me down a deeper hole. I find myself now feeling so alone and overwhelmed by the thoughts of the past years. I have been to therapy but i don't find it helped that much. I got to vent for a few months on many of the things that have occurred but i don't know that i made actual progress in healing on any real level. I wake up every morning, i go to work i smile and act friendly to anyone around me but i feel so dead inside. I am in so much pain but i know that nobody would ever know it. Lately it has just gotten so much worse. I go through the motions of life but outside of the bare essential things i need to do in life i don feel like doing anything. I think i have cried every single night as i go to sleep for the past 2 weeks. I don't know exactly what is is i am even crying about anymore. Something just doesn't feel right with me. Like i have mentioned i have been through a lot and overcome a lot but what i am feeling now is a new low point i haven't really been at before. I wake up some mornings feeling like if my parents wouldn't be so devastated i am not sure i would really want to live life anymore. I would never physically hurt myself but i often do wonder if there was a way something would happen to me to end all of this maybe i would be free from whatever this feeling is. This isn't healthy i know that but i don't know where to turn to. I am a pharmacist by profession so i do know i could try medication but for some reason i feel resistant to doing that, i don't really know why. I guess i just need someone who understands, someone who has been through some of this, someone who has gotten through this.
I have been active posting on other boards but this one I haven't. I am going to share what has been going on with me and I will try to keep this is as short as possible
Over the past 5-7 years I have had a really rough time. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had my fianc cheat on me and call off the wedding, lost a group of friends during college that started off as a misunderstanding that led to me feeling isolated the remainder of my time in college. Most recently the guy i was seeing for over 2 years broke up with me. After 6 additional months of back and fourth i finally did walk away because it was dragging me down a deeper hole. I find myself now feeling so alone and overwhelmed by the thoughts of the past years. I have been to therapy but i don't find it helped that much. I got to vent for a few months on many of the things that have occurred but i don't know that i made actual progress in healing on any real level. I wake up every morning, i go to work i smile and act friendly to anyone around me but i feel so dead inside. I am in so much pain but i know that nobody would ever know it. Lately it has just gotten so much worse. I go through the motions of life but outside of the bare essential things i need to do in life i don feel like doing anything. I think i have cried every single night as i go to sleep for the past 2 weeks. I don't know exactly what is is i am even crying about anymore. Something just doesn't feel right with me. Like i have mentioned i have been through a lot and overcome a lot but what i am feeling now is a new low point i haven't really been at before. I wake up some mornings feeling like if my parents wouldn't be so devastated i am not sure i would really want to live life anymore. I would never physically hurt myself but i often do wonder if there was a way something would happen to me to end all of this maybe i would be free from whatever this feeling is. This isn't healthy i know that but i don't know where to turn to. I am a pharmacist by profession so i do know i could try medication but for some reason i feel resistant to doing that, i don't really know why. I guess i just need someone who understands, someone who has been through some of this, someone who has gotten through this.
>>I am a pharmacist by profession so i do know i could try medication but for some reason i feel resistant to doing that, i don't really know why.
Well, .. I would not jump to taking medication until you got a clear diagnosis. Lab test for thyroid function .. etc etc. Medication comes from the recommendation (prescription) from a doctor, as you well know.
To take it or not ... if a doc prescribes it, I would take it.
I have no doubt medication helped me ... a lot.
You should do your treatment plan in proper order ... evaluation, diagnosis, treatment plan.
>> I guess i just need someone who understands, someone who has been through some of this, someone who has gotten through this.
Plenty of those people here. I am sure others will chime in.
These support groups are a great way to vent and to hear others stories who can relate. You also get different advice instead of just one from your doctor.
If medication if offered take it. It won't be a long term thing, maybe you just need a boost. Try therapy again but with someone different, just because it didn't work first time around doesn't mean it won't next time.
You had to deal with so much don't suffer alone. Keep posting start a journal, write down your feelings. Even if you don't show them to anyone it helps just to get them out so it's not all stuck in your head
There is one thing that many of us have done: we pretend to be happy when we are not. While that has its value, too much of it and, in my uneducated opinion, we make things worse by creating a "happy me" that really does not exist, but everybody including ourself things it is the real deal.
You can come here and regain the person who is really you. You are a person who goes between happy and sad. Between feeling involved and feeling isolated. I think that part of recovery is recognizing that we are not a consistent person, and that is OK! Then recovery can begin by working on being "really happy" more often, and being "fake happy" less often.
Well, I'm not a professional health care person, so if you see any value in that, please work with a professional!
Gentle hugs, and again welcome!