Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Lately I've been finding it really hard to stay motivated when it comes to living my life. All I want to do is disappear and not exist. I don't necessarily want to die or end my life, I just don't want to exist.
I can't help but think of Sucker Punch. A girl allows the doctors to illegally give her a lobotomy so she doesn't have to feel the guilt she's carrying around anymore. Right now that's how I feel - I just want everything that makes me "me" to disappear.
I go to work and see a few coworkers that I enjoy spending time with, see people after work to get some socialization in, but I still feel incredibly lonely. My ex gf and I broke off our titles a year ago, and she ended up moving out a bit over a month ago because I gave her an ultimatum to get her life together or move out. I felt that I had to be firm with her, for she's younger than me and way more naive about how things work in the world.
We both contributed to the break up but it seems like she only sees what I did and won't acknowledge her part in everything. This is really bothering me because I did love her a lot and really wished it could have worked. I miss her terribly and now that she's gone I hate being in my apartment because I got it for "us". I moved to take a job that I hoped would support us and now I'm hating it.
I really want to move back in with my parents so I can live with them and have them to distract me from all these feelings but I can't find a damn job over there. This leads to me feeling even more worthless and wishing I didn't exist.
These emotions are completely overwhelming for me. I'm a logical person who doesn't embrace emotions very well and everything I feel is suffocating right now. I know that I won't attempt to take my life but I can't help but wish that something would put me out of my misery.
I'm tired of pouring myself into my crappy job or video games. I don't want to go back to drinking or SI and I don't feel that medicine would really help me because this is situational depression. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this in the real world so I decided to come here... I guess I just needed to vent...
I can't help but think of Sucker Punch. A girl allows the doctors to illegally give her a lobotomy so she doesn't have to feel the guilt she's carrying around anymore. Right now that's how I feel - I just want everything that makes me "me" to disappear.
I go to work and see a few coworkers that I enjoy spending time with, see people after work to get some socialization in, but I still feel incredibly lonely. My ex gf and I broke off our titles a year ago, and she ended up moving out a bit over a month ago because I gave her an ultimatum to get her life together or move out. I felt that I had to be firm with her, for she's younger than me and way more naive about how things work in the world.
We both contributed to the break up but it seems like she only sees what I did and won't acknowledge her part in everything. This is really bothering me because I did love her a lot and really wished it could have worked. I miss her terribly and now that she's gone I hate being in my apartment because I got it for "us". I moved to take a job that I hoped would support us and now I'm hating it.
I really want to move back in with my parents so I can live with them and have them to distract me from all these feelings but I can't find a damn job over there. This leads to me feeling even more worthless and wishing I didn't exist.
These emotions are completely overwhelming for me. I'm a logical person who doesn't embrace emotions very well and everything I feel is suffocating right now. I know that I won't attempt to take my life but I can't help but wish that something would put me out of my misery.
I'm tired of pouring myself into my crappy job or video games. I don't want to go back to drinking or SI and I don't feel that medicine would really help me because this is situational depression. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this in the real world so I decided to come here... I guess I just needed to vent...
I'm not great at the advice giving, but I totally understand your feelings of wanting to not exist...and well, as little as that helps, that's what i'll extend to you; my understanding.
I hope things get better for you soon.
But aside from that as a human being with depression I can understand how when a bad thing happens you feel a situational depression but you don't want to go crazy into other bad habits, it all sounds very familiar. There are many times when I think to myself "here we go again" but somehow I found way. I hope you do too. I wish you the best of luck.