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Feeling so hurt and not heard or understood.

ajtene
ajtene

Hi there all


l am in a situation where a very close family member is dealing with many terrible and painful issuse's all at once ( having their child tested for menthal health issuse's and marriage break up just to mention a couple. As most of you out their would want to be there to support and  assist a loved love in anyway possible  well l do too. This person has always being there for myself and my family when life has thrown out hard balls. l feel l could relate to a lot of what the person is going through as have lived it, and person in mention offten ask's my mother how l dealt with different situations yet in last three weeks l have respected this persons wishes by giving them space and only sent them support from a distance by text messages - images of encouragement pictures - l have sent flowers which have all been appreciated by text messasges of thanks but this person appears to not want me around them which is now affecting me on a personal level l feel hurt and rejected at the moment. l am fully aware the person is seeing other family members and friends, whilst tells me they want space or just haven't got time to catch up. l am now questioning what l have done and second guessing sending anything.


My mother has said l am being silly and l take things to personal, and that l need to understand the person is going throught a lot which l need to concider which makes me feel worse.

Glamgeek
Glamgeek
Hello Ajtene, I am so sorry that you feel that way but I can definitely relate to what your feeling of being rejected and sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back for that person and allow them to reach out when they are ready. Sometimes being persistant and continuing to send things to the person makes them upset and sometimes because they are dealing with so much the don't nessicarliy know how to respond. Take time for your self also to make sure you fully understand that they probably don't intentionally mean it. People tend to deal with things differently and in this case that may be whats happening.

Just know that you are not alone and that you can only do so much. Gentle hug to you, I hope that every thing works out for you.
Yard_Eggs
Yard_Eggs
If you feel rejected, it is because your actions are not being received in the way you expected them to be received. The resentment stems from others not meeting your expectations and behaving the way you want them to behave.

If you fully examine your expectations (what you feel would be an appropriate response) of others and the motivations for your actions (what you want to gain from actions), perhaps your hurt feelings will lessen or completely diminish.
KimmyO
KimmyO
Sometimes all you can do is let go and pray for them. Who knows why they aren't reaching out. There are so many possibilities, but sounds like you have done only good to them, so let go. They may come to you or not, but continuing to reach out will only hurt you if you feel rejected. We can't force people to be close to us. Sometimes they don't want answers from those who understand, or advice from the wise, just to be left alone or cry on a shoulder, without words. You have been very kind and that is all you can do.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
I would ask her straight out ... "How can I best help you through these difficulties?" and go with her answer.
jannytheresa
jannytheresa
It's been my experience that people who are going through difficult times might just pull away from friends and families for many reasons. You seem to be trying to be supportive and not knowing the entire history of your relationship it's hard to say why they are not responding. But I am guessing that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person.
Since it is painful for you not receiving any response (and I have been in similar situations), I wonder, as Wandering V has said, if you could gently ask her if you can help her in any way and if your contacts (gestures of kindness) have been helpful to her. I am sure that this will pass.
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