Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Hopey 03/22/2018

Hi. I am a 45 year old introverted graduate student ( no children and never married by choice). I am the primary caretaker for my elderly grandmother. We live in an apartment complex, until our home get renovated. I don't socialize with anyone at the complex; but I do say hi, but no one speaks back. But the maintenance man is the one who is spreading the rumors ( saying that I'm not clean and I stink). I'm extremely clean and very attractive. But he hates my gut; I could see it in his face when he looks at me. I don't gossip with him; unlike the other tenants; they talk and gossip about everyone in the complex. I've never been a gossiper. It's obvious that I'm a clean person, so why would they believe this LIE. I mind my own business and I don't sit on the poch all day like the other tenants gosipping and belittle everyone. Not sure if race matters but I'm African American female and the maintenance man is a White male and all the other tenants are African American. Why does he/they dislike me so much; when I haven't done anything to them; and why does he continue to spread these rumors. Thank You.

Hopey 03/22/2018

Thank You Sooo much..I feel better!

smokekiller 03/22/2018

People have a low tolerance for different and your lifestyle sounds different than theirs. Other than that all I can say is try to care less about what they think.

Hopey 03/22/2018

Thank You So much for your reply. I've been trying to careless; I have to admit sometimes it gets to me.

shadowlady 03/23/2018

Oh so sorry you're feeling so down. Bless you for caring for your grandmother. Being a caregiver doesn't allow for much social activity, does it? Thoughts and prayers

robotnik 03/23/2018

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-deal-with-people-who-gossip-and-are-constantly-looking-for-ways-to-bring-you-down

Hopey 03/23/2018

Thank you so much shadowlady..You're absolutely right...being a caregiver is a hard and demanding job.. Thank you robotnik for the link.

HopeandMoreHope 03/24/2018

Hi, so sorry you are going through this. You can't control the behavior of others, but you can control how you respond to it. This is not true! Do not take it on. Be true to yourself and keep being the wonderful person you are. This will pass, people who tend to do this move from person to person. They like to bully but in time, your ignoring it will end it. You need to take care of yourself. I applaud you for caring for your grandmother. I have been a caregiver as well and it is a heroic effort. You are doing the work of God. If you have a trusted family member or friend to talk to when things feel hard, reach out. There are also caregiver support groups, you might want to look into them. Your neighbors know the truth, stand tall! I wish you peace!

Hopey 03/24/2018

Hi Hope and MoreHope. Thank You so much and I couldn't agree with you more....being a caregiver is heroic. Thank You for your kind words.

smokekiller 03/28/2018

I did not mean to imply that it is easy to "care less" even when you know you should. I'm kind of in that situation myself and struggling with it.

Hopey 03/28/2018

Hi smokekiller.. I know sometimes it's difficult to not care less. But it's BEST if we don't care less, because it will only make us more depressed..Hugs

joe1981 03/28/2018

hmm i agree with Hopey, caring less creates a negative mindset in a lot of ways. I would try to just not worry as much. I know it sounds the same but its not. caring less is an effort to forcibly remove compassion from yourself in my opinion. where as trying to not worry as much means that regardless of what the issue is your going to just smile and move forward. again just my opinion there,
regardless I don't really socialize with my neighbors too much either. in all honesty I don't know any of their names and ive been there for two years now. and sometimes they drive me nuts with loud music late into the night. so I just don't worry about it anymore, I tried to just not care but it just made me angry. I just tried my best to accept that they are going to do what they want and I have no control over it. for me that made the whole world so much easier to deal with.

Hopey 03/28/2018

Hi joe1981....Good logic! I totally agree...Thank you for your reply.

Peterscotch 03/29/2018

Thank you for sharing this.

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