The happiest I have ever felt In ages.

It might seem very funny that the simplist things can make me fly with happiness, and I really haven't been able to feel happy in ages ,  i felt really happy and laughed to the top of voice .

I was having a horrible time , from problems with family to others with working. I guess the whole world seemed dark, and I was the centre of that darkness, crying everyday , obsessing with thoughts of hurting myself , and seeing no hope.

  What I did was volunteering with a charity group that helps orphans and support them. From playing and working with the kids to actually end up playing with the other volunteers like children and meeting new people. It felt totally different, all of my problems and issues seemed so small and insignificant and at that moment everything I was feeling before felt illogical. It felt more like I was out of my brain and actually alive and existing, different from how I feel dead almost always. I felt more like my real self and the way I'm at other times are more like a blind dark creatures , it's as if when I'm depressed i didn't see clearly.

I even felt more motivated to go back to drawing and reading, my old hobbies. More outside of myself.

I guess that's the way normal people feel? Why can't I feel this way all the time? Why most of my days I'm more like a corpse whose life is passing her by.

 why a normal day for other people feels like a great day to who are depressed? 

I notice that social events and gatherings makes me feel great, I almost thought that I'll never be able to feel happiness ever again and was already feeling old and spinning in circles, but that day I felt young and life felt more of gift than a curse.

I had a stable mood the days after, without crying or feeling like hurting myself, just feeling nothing. But today I'm back to work , where I'm doing an internship, and has returned to the depressed state and constant crying and shaking and only want to remain sleeping, I don't understand.