let me try and explain both my partner and i suffer from mental illness my partner is bi polar. 

we started rowing about a month ago we had made a agreement to save our relationship back in january but she basically was trying to back out of it. nothing to difficult just we agreed that she would start putting me first before her sisters,mum,cousins etc. as she has never put me first. basically her two sisters was very annoyed at this and no doubt told my partner .all this agreement was ,was that my partner wouldnt stay overnight when visiting her family they dont live hundreds of miles away and she could visit on daytrips.

so two weeks ago her aunt was staying a few days with us,i had another row with my partner as she was trying to break our agreement as she was wanting to stay over night when some of her family holiday just a hours away from where we live. that night i sat with her aunt my partner was angry and was going to bed,she gets her diabetes meds and anti depressants in a weekly tray. we heard her shaking them like a rattle as if to gain attention but we ignored it. next morning i get up and her aunt tells me my partner was vomiting in the early hours then my partner tells us she had took all her meds which was 107 pills in total but when i said i was taking her to hospital she refused saying she had vomited up loads of pills 3 to 3 and a half hours later so she was ok.it wasnt until she told a cpn who was going to give her her regular mood stabliser injection that morning she had overdosed she refused to give the injection until she had gone to hospital to get blood tests done. well her ecg was fine,her blood pressure fine. the doctor asked her several times if she had stomoach pains she said no.the blood came back ok and they said she could go home,

so i got a bit suspecious ,i asked her why when my best friend had overdosed just a few weeks before with far less pills she had been going unconcious after half a hour my partner got very defensive and said it was because she was drunk and pasted her bedtime. anyway after we got home i researched online how long pills take to dissolved in the stomach all the sites said 15 to 30 minutes. so i went to the bin got out the paper towels she had cleared up her vomit with not one pill visable ,yet she said she had vomited loads up. so i rang my doctor i was already in a state because everyone at the hospital who asked her why she had said it was because of our relationship. i told my doctor of my suspecions and said i had read pills take 15 to 30 minutes to dissolve yet my partner had 107 pills in her stomach and they was still there to vomit up after 3 to 3 and a half hours,no pills in the paper towel. no side effects what so ever. my doctor said she agreed with me. so i told my partners mother who i think actually believed what i was saying until she rang my partners sister. then i had both the sisters turn up telling my partner to go and stay with them where people love and care about her. i'm really in turmoil ,my partners now has achieved the desired affect she wanted her family saying she must be low to want to kill herself and how she should stay overnight on their holiday,and her sisters wanting her to go for a break with them as well before or after this holiday. my partner knows i dare not say no as now she knows her family will get on at me. but i still can not cope with the fact i really think my partner faked this overdose even my doctor agreed with me. she knew that only a few weeks before that my best friend took a overdose and how upset i was luckily my best friend was ok after a few days in hospital. but at that time i had got there about 20 minutes or less after and when the paramedics arrived which was about less than a hour after she took them i asked if they would pump her stomach or give her charcol he said it was too late for that as the pills was already in her system ,yet my partner had 107 pills in her stomach for 3 to 3 and a half hours and no effect,well she vomited several times after 3 to 3 and a half hours but she had ate a large easter egg,a whole pizza and a cream cake for her tea, and shes diabetic type 2.

as you can imagine its had a very detrimental effect on my mental health. and im finding it hard to cope. she knows i suspect she didnt overdose but i just keep saying no but im just worried that her bloods come back clear and i think they got them mixed up.if i said yes i did think she faked it things would be even worse for me .

so all her family think i'm the bad one as her mum knows i told her her daughter had faked it and of course shes told the rest of them but i thought even they would if they didnt believe me check it online for themselves. but when i did broach how long pills take to dissolvev with one of her sisters she snapped at me saying no it 6 to 8 hours. ok she was wrong but at least i know who persuaded the mother i was wrong.

so im stuck in this horrible situation,no one believes me ,they are trying to turn my partner against me . and i just cant understand why my partner would be so desperate to spend a night away she went to this extreme. to hurt me this much by trying to lay the guilt on me .

i just wish they would be a way of proving it but there isnt. ive got alot im dealing with elderly parents who need more care now dads just been diagnosed with parkinsons. heard recently my son who wants nothing to do with me has been told his life expencty is about 50 . this court case which im terrified of . and i just dont know how to cope anymore . today i got a facebook message from her mum asking how was we bothn then said how she was looking forward to their holiday and their big family get together. considering she knows that what our rows has been about i took it as just rubbing it in. i can only explain it as some power struggle with her family. i had one sister tell me when she heard my partner was "concentrating" on me from now on she said it was ridicolous. the other sister when my partner told her of our agreement back in january wasnt happy either. but my partner had never put me first so after 6 years of this yes i did say to her it hurt so much and i couldnt cope in a relationship where i was put second everytime thats when we made our agreement. but her family think it should be them my partner puts first all the time.

im in such a state you can tell by the way im waffling on trying to get it all off my chest. i have diazapan but it doesnt seem to calm me down so nom point in taking it. we do have a crisis team but they dont come out at nights so not alot they can do.