Feeling really bad lately. My heart feel so heavy. Everything seems to hard and I am so tired. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go out of the house. It's hard to get dressed. It's hard to deal with all the daily living stress and b.s. I am stressed just by being around humans.
I feel sorry for myself. No one should have to feel this bad for this long. I can distract myself for awhile but it always comes back to this.
I write here a lot. I appreciate the support but sometimes I feel like there is just no point in even writing. It's nice that people have tried to help me but nothing works. I'll never be truly happy or even feel ok. I spend a lot of time now as i get older thinking of things that happened to me when i was a kid, just reminiscing, combing my memory for any happy or even neutral thing that could calm me down.
For the last three years there has been an increase of leaks that were almost worth gathering sliding glass doors from the roadside to cover with. I really didn't have any idea how to manage this. I would let my family know that I was on the bucket brigade, so couldn't join them if it was raining. They tookit as me joking about a smallleak. It's an old house, 1926. So damage had to be repaired as...
The weekend's just begun. I just felt exhausted all day and it's raining now so I'll curl up with my tea :)