Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
It wasn't a good day today. First, at breaksfast, I was was reading aobut the rising costs of college and mentioned it to my father. This quickly changed to why I changed my major in college from engineering to history. "Why history? Why didn't you take math or something else? You'd have a job by now." Yeah, completely forget math was why I changed my major. I quickly ate my breakfast and left the table.
Later, I went to the garage to get a soda from the refrigerator there. My father was sitting there reading the paper. He mentioned that I needed to lose weight. I asked him why and he said I was fat. I'm maybe 70-80 lbs overweight depending on what is supposedly "ideal" and "healthy.' However, I have low blood pressure, sugar and chloresterol. I mentioned this to him and he responded it didn't matter. Then, he went on about a neighbor's son who was so overweight he could no longer walk. I said I wasn't him and if I was too fat why does everyone walk slower than I do or why I could lift a heavy table with my fingers when everyone else needs their whole hand? Then, I mentioned why would I want to live to be 80 or 90 years old? He responded that when I got older I'd want to. My response was a line from the comic strip "Pearls before Swine," in which one character, Rat, wondered why people were so obsessed with living longer when they did nothing in life. "Why worry about the gas tank when the car is going nowhere?" I thnk was Rat's quote. Our conversation ended there.
That's what I am, a car going nowhere. The fact I'm healthy isn't something I want. I know someone will say I should appreaciate it. To me, it just means I'll be here for a long time with the one thing that isn't healthy about me. Yes, the Pinto might run great and get good mileage, etc., but that gas tank can still you.
Later, I went to the garage to get a soda from the refrigerator there. My father was sitting there reading the paper. He mentioned that I needed to lose weight. I asked him why and he said I was fat. I'm maybe 70-80 lbs overweight depending on what is supposedly "ideal" and "healthy.' However, I have low blood pressure, sugar and chloresterol. I mentioned this to him and he responded it didn't matter. Then, he went on about a neighbor's son who was so overweight he could no longer walk. I said I wasn't him and if I was too fat why does everyone walk slower than I do or why I could lift a heavy table with my fingers when everyone else needs their whole hand? Then, I mentioned why would I want to live to be 80 or 90 years old? He responded that when I got older I'd want to. My response was a line from the comic strip "Pearls before Swine," in which one character, Rat, wondered why people were so obsessed with living longer when they did nothing in life. "Why worry about the gas tank when the car is going nowhere?" I thnk was Rat's quote. Our conversation ended there.
That's what I am, a car going nowhere. The fact I'm healthy isn't something I want. I know someone will say I should appreaciate it. To me, it just means I'll be here for a long time with the one thing that isn't healthy about me. Yes, the Pinto might run great and get good mileage, etc., but that gas tank can still you.
=( i am also sorry your daddy ahd tha convo with you. You know... theres nothing wrong with being a little over weight I am too and you know my neighber shes a really tall altletic built girl with alot of muscle. She is so skinny but the doctors telling her she needs to loose weight cause girls arent supose to way that much.
=o but if you look at he she looks so strong and healty.
doctors are block heads sometimes
ps i love histroy
The other issue-can I tell you a story? When I was 38, I had stopped smoking for over 2 years, exercised, and ate the things I was supposed to eat. I was healthy, and looked it. One day while doing a little jog to catch the train, I had a heart attack. The bad stuff I had done earlier in my life had accumulated and "ganged up" on me. Now I can't even get a decent life insurance policy to cover the cost of my little house that I share with my sister because I had a heart attack before I was 40. It's a big deal! And if you are overwieght, no matter that you think you're healthy, you are setting your body up for a dangerous event one day. Maybe diabetes, heart disease, clogged arteries. Maybe something else. Do you have a blood pressure machine to monitor your BP every day? They are cheap so maybe you should get one. Do you know all your chloresterol numbers? Get a basic metabolic panel blood test and find out. My "good healthy" sister was sky-high and didn't even know it.
Your body will betray you eventually. Just try to make 1 good choice each say. Skip the soda or have a diet one. Walk 1/2 hour instead of watching tv for 1/2 hour. Or whatever fits into your lifestyle.
Peace, love, and joy (try for at least 1),
L R
Even if something was wrong, I don't think I'd change my habits. Yes, I know someone will say I will when death is staring me in the face. I'm allergic to Aspartame and Splenda upsets my stomach and neither tastes very good. Eating is one of the few pleasures I have along with Pepsi ( and yes, it has to be Pepsi. I can recognize the taste sans can or bottle and its effects on me) Yet, it takes a large amount for it to work.
Would physical activity replace this? No, been there and tried that. I used to walk 8 miles a day. This was 8 miles starting from day one and I was never tired from it.
Yet, it comes back to why I would want to be here for decades. I could have all perfect numbers, but remain in darkness. I have no good relations with my family and it's unlikely to change. I have no friends and I doubt that will change due to how I am and how people are. No possessions to pass on (I expect my DVD collection to hit the curb the day after I die and my sister will get the house) or people to ensure care for, if I were gone. Other than myself, who really doesn't want to be here, there's no reason to stick around here.
Currently, I have no medical insurance. If I did, I'd restrict it to basic emergency room coverage. Splint my broken arm, suture my cut. Cardiac arrest? Don't have a DNR (no one to give it to unless I want to keep it in my wallet), but keep the paddles away.
You seem to know everything, and that "nothing" will work for you, I guess. Then tell you dad to shut up and resign yourself to living as you are and gaining a few pounds every year.
D S is not a magic pill. It is a support system.
Don' t give up on that. One day you may have so many things to live for . . . but by then you may have run your body into the ground. Maybe you won't have . . . but either way eating healthy and exercising have benefits that go beyond blood pressure etc . . . they also help a whole lot with mood disorders. I know I'm not actually the best eater so I can't judge there . . . but I do my best to keep it not that bad . . .eat some healthy stuff. I exercise at the gym a few times a week and walk my dog every day. Also I do take a multivitamin, vitamin D, and fish oil pills to help. The omega fats are supposed to be really really helpful with controlling mood and sure enough I can tell when I don't take them for a couple of days. The vitamin D seems to have been very helpful this winter, I have S.A.D. so it helps with the lack of sunlight. Either way much of the things I do to stay healthy I've ended up being consistent on b/c of my depression, not an overwhelming desire to be healthy, or to live a long life, but b/c I HATE being badly depressed.