Last Night, my group of friends were drinking and being a lgihtweight I was gone first. I can remember everything that happened and I wish I didn't because I cried about it all day today.
We were having a good time making memories and my one friend, who was more drunk than I was, decided that it would be a great time to start calling me out on everything I've ever done wrong. She was calling me dumb, fake, rude. She called me a bitch. She told me that the diease I have (hyperthyroidism), well she said I didn't have it. Everything I do is to get attention. I don't have problems, I just say I do so I can get attention.
At this point I wanted to forget everything she just told me.
An hour or so goes by and I'm hystercial crying to the mom of the group and she came up to me thinking that I had forgot what she told me and was like you never come to me when you need me. Why don't you come to me. I didn't even want to talk to her to I left it alone and I told the mom that when I did try talking to her she turned it back on her.
This morning we all woke up and when she woke up she asked me if I remember anything because apparently they were making bets behind my back about me remembering. And when I said I did she was like oh well I roasted your ass NOT even apoligzing for it.
I left right after that and came home cried for 2 hours then went out with my family and I had to keep sunglasses on so they couldn't see me crying.
i just don't see how any of this can ever get any better.It still all has me in its sharp talons of memory of trying to forget.How long do i have to sit and process?i don't want to "sit with the feelings".i have been trying to do that for years.i guess i am not working hard enough.i feel so desperate.
Hey everyone. I haven't been on here much lately since my father died and everything with the pandemic. I want to feel like I can contribute words that will give comfort to others but I just don't feel like I have any right now. But I got to get all this out. So this might be a long post. Thanks in advance if you read part or all of it.A friend of mine turned out not to be such a great friend...