Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
SBoom
So, the house I live in is owned by my roommate's parents. Now, I didn't think this would be a problem when I moved in, but the whole time I have lived here I've been made to feel like this isn't my house. Her family treats it like it is their fucking house - showing up without warning, showing up with their fucking KIDS without warning, then getting upset about it when their nosey ass kids find my weed and paraphernalia. I'm sorry, but maybe try using your fucking brains and deciding NOT to show up at a house full of 20-something year olds' without warning with an 8 and 10 year old kid! How 'bout that?! I fucking live here for goodness sake. I don't leave my shit laying around when I'm not home - because I am considerate, and think, gee if they stop by with the kids, it would be nice if I didn't have inappropriate things laying about - but if I'm home they can fucking CALL and tell me they are coming by.
And when I moved in they made it sound like "once in a while" the kids come over to hang out with their sister - that's cool, that's fine. But they show up unannounced ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!
Just last weekend I had some friends over on a freaking FRIDAY NIGHT and her dad and little brothers show up at 8:30 UNANNOUNCED.... I/m sorry, but that is not cool. We can't talk the way we normally talk obviously with them there, and felt totally uncomfortable because we were drinking and had been just about to roll a joint when they walked in. Thankfully we got it put away before they came in the house, but still. Showing up unannounced at 8:30 on a Friday night with kids at a 20-something y/o's house? Honestly.. fucking RUDE. Kinda makes me wish we hadn't heard them coming up and the kids had walked in on us talking about sex and rolling a joint. Maybe it would teach them a lesson.
But THIS.... this is the last fucking straw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had decided that, being easter weekend and all.. and a really gorgeous weather forecast... that today would be a great day to kick off BBQ season. So, I decided earlier in the week to invite a couple of friends over for the afternoon for some home-made (from scratch) hamburgers, since we are going out tonight anyways and they were supposed to come over in the evening for a little predrinking anyways. SO, I tell roommate this, and she is cool with it. Heck, I even tell her she can invite a friend or two, just not a lot of people or whatever becasue I don't wanna make food for that many (a $$ thing more than anything else).
ANYWAYS, she tells me two days ago that her dad is coming in the morning to rip out the kitchen (its getting redone) so I'm like, well that sucks but whatever, we'll work around it. SHe said he'd be here from like 10 to 2... so I'm like, k so I won't have anyone over til after that.
THEN her brother (who lives downstairs) texts me yesterday while I was snowboarding saying "Hey just so u know, no weed or drinkin at the bbq tomorrow cuz [roomies name] took over the party and invited the family over"
WHAT THE FUCK?!
So I texted him back saying "well fuck it I'm not having anyone for bbq anymore anyways so they can make what they want"
When I saw my roommate this morning I asked her what time her family was coming over - figurin like late afternoon or something, thinking at least that way my friends can still come over before going out - they're not coming over til like fucking 7:00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I said was "well, isn't that nice. I guess I can't have my friends over at all now can I?" to which she responded "no they can still come" so I replied with "yeah well I'm fairly sure they're not terribly interested in sitting here uncomfortably with your family, having to watch their mouths because there are kids present, and not being able to do any of the things they come here to do...."
...no apology.
Not even the slightest acknowledgement that MAYBE she has done something inconsiderate.
And when I moved in they made it sound like "once in a while" the kids come over to hang out with their sister - that's cool, that's fine. But they show up unannounced ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!
Just last weekend I had some friends over on a freaking FRIDAY NIGHT and her dad and little brothers show up at 8:30 UNANNOUNCED.... I/m sorry, but that is not cool. We can't talk the way we normally talk obviously with them there, and felt totally uncomfortable because we were drinking and had been just about to roll a joint when they walked in. Thankfully we got it put away before they came in the house, but still. Showing up unannounced at 8:30 on a Friday night with kids at a 20-something y/o's house? Honestly.. fucking RUDE. Kinda makes me wish we hadn't heard them coming up and the kids had walked in on us talking about sex and rolling a joint. Maybe it would teach them a lesson.
But THIS.... this is the last fucking straw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had decided that, being easter weekend and all.. and a really gorgeous weather forecast... that today would be a great day to kick off BBQ season. So, I decided earlier in the week to invite a couple of friends over for the afternoon for some home-made (from scratch) hamburgers, since we are going out tonight anyways and they were supposed to come over in the evening for a little predrinking anyways. SO, I tell roommate this, and she is cool with it. Heck, I even tell her she can invite a friend or two, just not a lot of people or whatever becasue I don't wanna make food for that many (a $$ thing more than anything else).
ANYWAYS, she tells me two days ago that her dad is coming in the morning to rip out the kitchen (its getting redone) so I'm like, well that sucks but whatever, we'll work around it. SHe said he'd be here from like 10 to 2... so I'm like, k so I won't have anyone over til after that.
THEN her brother (who lives downstairs) texts me yesterday while I was snowboarding saying "Hey just so u know, no weed or drinkin at the bbq tomorrow cuz [roomies name] took over the party and invited the family over"
WHAT THE FUCK?!
So I texted him back saying "well fuck it I'm not having anyone for bbq anymore anyways so they can make what they want"
When I saw my roommate this morning I asked her what time her family was coming over - figurin like late afternoon or something, thinking at least that way my friends can still come over before going out - they're not coming over til like fucking 7:00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All I said was "well, isn't that nice. I guess I can't have my friends over at all now can I?" to which she responded "no they can still come" so I replied with "yeah well I'm fairly sure they're not terribly interested in sitting here uncomfortably with your family, having to watch their mouths because there are kids present, and not being able to do any of the things they come here to do...."
...no apology.
Not even the slightest acknowledgement that MAYBE she has done something inconsiderate.
only the last part is "important" (after the "last straw" comment) ..the rest is background.
Mature route: sit down and calmly tell your roomy's parents you're not happy with their intrusions.
Immature route: invite them over and make a ducolax gateaux!
As far as my legal rights - we do not have a legal agreement. We go month-to-month, and when I moved in I had requested that we sign a legal contract anyways, but it's one of those things that just never got done.
But as far as I am concerned, there is more to rights than legality. The law shouldn't even be a concern here - common courtesy should be enough!
I HAVE asked them nicely to not show up without warning. As far as they are concerned this is THEIR house. Apparently the fact that, unlike their daughter, I PAY MY FUCKING RENT doesn't matter.
Your roomate seems to be inviting them over though. Could you perhaps have a conversation with her? People who show up uninvited are quite rude.
Still, if I was the owner of the house, I wouldn't be too cool about the pot. Couldn't they somehow get in trouble if the cops found weed in the house?
If not, next time they show up walk out of your room naked, smoking a spilff and singing a song about love being universal or something.
be as loud as you like... maybe then they might get the messege and go away.
if they dont.... water bomb them until they go away?
after all... kids like water fights :D!
but seriously. that sucks :(
don't get me wrong sboom,
i would be so frustrated as well if i were you.
you're a responsible person and care about the well being of the young'ns, and they aren't even yours. ugh. this is a tough situation. awful not to be able to relax in your own living environment and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.
when does your lease expire? this one may never resolve itself. juice is correct, you do have tenant's rights, i'm just not sure they'd be enforced or respected with this group. i like the immature route suggested here, as well as the brownie recipe.
if possible, be part of the solution, not the problem. i don't mean to say that disrespectfully, only positively.
And as for my roommate inviting them - that's the part that pisses me off most!!!!!!!! SHE DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING ASK ME IF IT'S COOL WITH ME for her little fucking brothers and parents to come over whenever they decide to!!
When I have friends over I RUN IT PAST HER.
But I guess not everyone was raised to be CONSIDERATE of other people.
It's not just about not being able to do whatever I want to do when they are here, either. A lot of the time I'm just really not in the mood for kids. Another example - during my reading week I was watching a lot of the olympics and was really into it. Well, they came over - again UNANNOUNCED - while I was watching an event that was VERY important to me.. and the kids wouldn't shut up the whole time! Kept walkin in front of the screen, talking to me, bugging me to teach them how to snowboard.. etc etc... just being all around annoying as piss.
Another time they showed up with their dad when he was doing some work in the back yard and I was watching TV. Well the one kid decided he wanted to watch TV with me. I was watching Degrassi of all shows... and some inappropriate material came on, and his dad got upset that I let him watch it!!! I was like... uhh.. I was watching this show BEFORE you came over .... and I even told the kid he should ask his dad if he can watch it, and he didn't.. and I really didn't give a shit cuz it's like, it's Degrassi... the worst thats gunna happen is passing reference to sex, which, by the age of 10 I'd think the kid would have heard before...
What I don't understand is why she doesn't just go there - they LIVE IN THE SAME CITY for goodness sake! It would make MUCH more sense for her to go to their house, than for them to come here.
I don't really feel like having my friends over for a bbq and telling them "oh but you can't cuss, or smoke weed, or talk about sex or other inappropriate things, or drink or basically be yourselves in any way...."
And if I DID just have them over and go ahead and do all of the above anyway, you can bet your ass I'd be kicked out.........
I say do what you want, you pay your fair share.
Nothing pisses me off more than people just showing up and even more than that is when they bring their kids. I paid my dues!!!
My father n law showedup unannounced one time and stayed TWO WEEKS!! He kept cutting my air off in AUGUST, it was horrible. And another time he showed up with two of his grandkids!!! The THIRD time he showed up it is a 12 hr. drive, I CUSSED his ASS out so bad, he sat in my driveway for 20 minutes. Probably contemplating my demise. Haven't seen or heard from him since. Good riddance!!!