Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi.
This morning will go in the "what the hell" and the "sometimes i wish i didnt wake up" moments
This morning. The closest persont i had in my immediate family had the nerve to say how messed up i am because i have depression. Mind you, we lost our mom last nov.
I have been struggling my whole life. With the crimes against me. The problems with my mothers and the sickness of my entire family.
I have struggled.
The thing about me is i have pain . And i would rather hurt my self than hurt another.
I am always caring and helped as many as i could in my family. And yet today i had to defend my depression. Without actually doing harm to anyone..but myself.
My family has been nothing like a family. Never have we had a famiily moment or the feeling of love one another. I gave my whole life as the only person who worked steadily. Helped and gave to my siblings and mother. Cause i cared.
But i never had someone give or gave much to me. My mom tried before she died and that meant a lot to me.
But nothing before that.
She told me that she always felt like she had only one child. Out of five.
That will remain with me forever. I knew she meant it.
Now i am 31. No kids not married. My heart feels like im 15 and i am so sensative that i feel again as if the world is caving in. I alwqys asked myself. Why was i born in this family and how am i related?
I have struggled so much. In life and emotionally.
I have so much against me i wonder how am i alive and why i havent gone off the deep end into drugs or just giving up.
I dont want to.
There is a beautiful loving woman here that just cant be pain free. Or have this sickness of a family around.
My brother and i were always close. More than anybody.
He today decided to throw my depression in my face. Called me out as if i did something wrong and just broke my heart. All because i have been asking him why he hasnt paid the phone bill i have been paying for over a year by myself.
Seriously.
I have all the text from him and my aunt. Two people i trusted and family members i have no relationship. Why did i save them??
For proof to show i am not making things up. I know i am not wrong but i know they dont understand what they are doing.
So now i cry. Dont understand why people dont think before they say hurtful words. And i hope one day someone out there has the time to understand me and listen. My life wassupposed to get better at some point but now i wonder when??
This morning will go in the "what the hell" and the "sometimes i wish i didnt wake up" moments
This morning. The closest persont i had in my immediate family had the nerve to say how messed up i am because i have depression. Mind you, we lost our mom last nov.
I have been struggling my whole life. With the crimes against me. The problems with my mothers and the sickness of my entire family.
I have struggled.
The thing about me is i have pain . And i would rather hurt my self than hurt another.
I am always caring and helped as many as i could in my family. And yet today i had to defend my depression. Without actually doing harm to anyone..but myself.
My family has been nothing like a family. Never have we had a famiily moment or the feeling of love one another. I gave my whole life as the only person who worked steadily. Helped and gave to my siblings and mother. Cause i cared.
But i never had someone give or gave much to me. My mom tried before she died and that meant a lot to me.
But nothing before that.
She told me that she always felt like she had only one child. Out of five.
That will remain with me forever. I knew she meant it.
Now i am 31. No kids not married. My heart feels like im 15 and i am so sensative that i feel again as if the world is caving in. I alwqys asked myself. Why was i born in this family and how am i related?
I have struggled so much. In life and emotionally.
I have so much against me i wonder how am i alive and why i havent gone off the deep end into drugs or just giving up.
I dont want to.
There is a beautiful loving woman here that just cant be pain free. Or have this sickness of a family around.
My brother and i were always close. More than anybody.
He today decided to throw my depression in my face. Called me out as if i did something wrong and just broke my heart. All because i have been asking him why he hasnt paid the phone bill i have been paying for over a year by myself.
Seriously.
I have all the text from him and my aunt. Two people i trusted and family members i have no relationship. Why did i save them??
For proof to show i am not making things up. I know i am not wrong but i know they dont understand what they are doing.
So now i cry. Dont understand why people dont think before they say hurtful words. And i hope one day someone out there has the time to understand me and listen. My life wassupposed to get better at some point but now i wonder when??
I too have carried the ache of a shitty family of origin.
It could of been worse could've been a lot better too!
It would just be nice to be understood.
For them to acknowledge our pain, not deny it.
I wish you all the beat, hang in there.
Its hard when in your heart youd rather be there and help and care. Butid never want to see them hurt or struggle. So what if i am depressed. So what if i am sad.those are my issues and my weakness.How is that ammo to argue your way out of your anger for a phone u havent been TRYING to help with. There is more to this than i wrote. But i just cant seem to understand why. I didnt contribute the shittyness to my family. I am just saddend i dont have one.
I was so upset ..on top of grieving all the time. I find it so interesting that when they need you. Your there. But when u even think about seeking or asking..boy do they run and hide or ignore.
I am coping with the insomnia depression and grieve. I will be damned if i add another on this already exausted list.
Thanks to ds i know and dont feel alone in any of this.
I will eventually move and finally be free from selfishness and stress with no remorse.
I owe it to myself
I know that I have to a loved one, and I felt very badly about it.
Sorry you are feeling so down right now. I try to always remember that when we're dealing with other humans we have to sometimes put up with their human emotions too.