I understand how you feel! It is embarrassing to feel like you can't even take care of yourself and it's hard to explain to other people if they have never experienced it. I would suggest getting some blood work done, because there are actually a lot of things that can cause you to feel depressed. It's confusing because sometimes depression is a symptom of another problem, or sometimes it IS the problem. Thyroid issues or low vitamins (especially B and D) are just a couple of things that might cause you to feel depressed. Do you have bad allergies? That can also make you feel really tired if your immune system is always overreacting. I was grateful I had a doctor who thought to suggest I get bloodwork done before he just started feeding me antidepressants. For me, it was depression (I have a strong family history) but it's good to know that there are other causes. Hope you are feeling better soon!

I really dont know what advice to give because those sound like symptoms of depression to me so I am a little confused as to why they no longer see you as depressed? I would ask if there is any particular reason you give yourself not to do these things?

I too have slipped on my self care, I barely take care of myself at all anymore. It's all I can do to just survive.

lindseyt had good suggestions, talk to your doctor about it and see if they can help.

Thank you for all your comments!

That is very wise advise Lindseyt. I've had blood work done and everything is ok. The only thing I don't think I ever checked is Vit D. I take vit D supplements and live in sunny Arizona, so I'm not sure it's possible. I will call and ask the nurse to add vit D to the lab work I'm getting.

I do have high blood sugar (not diabetes) and I'm overweight. I know that doesn't help with the tiredness, but it is more than being tired. I can't find the will to do it.

I'm not sure why I don't qualify for a diagnosis of depression anymore. Diagnostic criteria is anything but perfect. Whenever I tell the counselor or dr that the meds helped with some symptoms but I still struggle, they tell me meds can only do so much and the rest comes from exercise, nutrition, working on habits, thoughts, emotions.

I just can't fight the tiredness and lack of motivation 24/7. I get burned out. I push myself to go to school, to do homework, to do work, to clean and order the house, to run errands, to help others...I'm left with no energy but I push myself to eat healthy, drink enough, take supplements...I just can't push anymore. I'm tired and discouraged because nothing gets easier. The next day I have to push again.

I don't think I have allergies. I did get checked for sleep apnea and I recommend anyone with any sleep issues and depression or who feels very tired gets checked for sleep apnea because it is a very common problem and can make a huge difference in your quality of life. It also increases your risk with weight gain, heart problems and other things.

Thanks again for the support!

Set up a reward system for yourself. If you brush your teeth your get something special. If you shower you get something special. I understand I do not want to go to the trouble of showering, but I force myself and I reward myself for doing it. It works for me. You need to find something that works for you. it is not easy but no one said depression is easy or understandable. It makes no sense and forces you to do thing you would never ever do before. The right combo of drugs helps. I am now on the right drugs and I have had a great week. Work with your doctor and be prepared to switch up drug until you find something that works for you. It is worth it.

Thanks Crazy. Unfortunately, I've tried more drugs than I can recall. They help with the more severe symptoms but not the rest.

I like your idea of rewards. I just can't think of anything to reward myself with! There is nothing I'm dieing to buy or do and if there is and I can afford it I know I can have it regardless of whether I take a shower.

I hate being like this.

I have issues like this too. Well I have no drive to put on make up,or do my hair, or even dress nice like used to. The problems with hygiene only come for me on cycles wen I go through severe bouts of depression. You just have to tell yourself that hygiene is an absolute must. When your not clean and look like shit, does that make the depression worse? It does for me. I also have ptsd. Though and my symptoms include a severe feeling of "dirty" and often feels like my skin is literally burning. So I remind myself that in order to feel a little less depressed, I need to shower and get that fresh feeling of being clean.

What you are describing was for me an issue as well. I always bathed and washed my hair, brushed my teeth...BUT...I would neglect shaving, keeping my apartment clean, paying bills, going to the doctor...all maintenance issues that "normal" people do every day. My depression was so bad I wound up in crisis because I wanted to commit suicide. See your doctor for help with this and lindseyt is spot on....it is embarrassing, but not uncommon. I hope you feel better soon.

I was just trying to write about this. This is how I was back in the 90's when they were playing with my meds. It wasn't pretty. My mother-in-law used to come over and take us out to bingo to get us out of the house. She would look at me and say, "Are you going like that?"
I didn't understand it then. I just didn't care what I looked like.
Last week I was in old clothes working on the house; when we made a quick trip to the corner store. I looked down at myself and thought, "How could I go out like this?"
My meds have changed and I take better care of myself now.
As for your not being diagnosed, I will tell you what the VA doc told my husband. (He is a truck driver that hauls hazardous materials) There is an herb in the vitamin aisle that helps depression. It is called valerian root. It is a natural muscle relaxer that will help you sleep better and help your depression.
You are not alone on this topic. I think at one time or another this has happened to us all. Mine lasted years. Don't be embarrassed.
I hope this helps.
Jenn

Wow thanks everyone. For the question and the responses.
I thought this was only me, I have noticed for the last month or two that I just don't want to do my hair and make up or even really care if I look "nice".
I thought it was just me. I'm so tired and overwhelmed it just doesn't seem worth it. Its as if self care is getting lower and lower on my priority list.

I don't really have any advice. I just do it (shower teeth etc) because I have too. I do find if I make a daily to do list. I do write down the basics (mk the bed shower get dressed etc) then I do it. I just do the next thing on the list and then it gets done and I don't have to think about it.

I am the same way as you with the difference the I only bath once every 6-8 weeks. I have a fear that if I get into that vulnerable position someone who I would be nerves about will show up and I will be trapped. I was wondering if you might have the same fear.

I don't brainoverload. What you describe sounds like trauma. Have you been diagnosed with PTSD? I have a friend who has similar issues. She copes by using a clear shower curtain and a simple device that prevents the door from being open if someone was to break the locks.

It must be terrifying. Have you sought treatment for this?

For me, showers can be kind of a pain sometimes but when I'm really in the dumps, a very warm (well, I prefer hot!) bath actually feels good. Why not give it a try? Choose a bath product that smells good to you, or put in a few drops of lavender oil, which many find calming. You can wash your hair while you're in the tub. I find that taking a bath an hour or so before bed helps me sleep.

I wanted to thank everyone for sharing that you struggle with similar issues. It helped me to read your stories.

I actually started struggling with this only in recent years. The first 6 years that I struggled with episodes of depression, I would still take care of my hygiene and even my appearance. The next two years I would do the hygiene but not the appearance. The episodes after that hygiene became an issue.

Part of the problem is that I feel very tired and when I make myself do those things (shower, etc.), it does not get easier. Keeping it up is as hard.

I think the bottomline is that I don't value myself enough to do these things for me. I would be motivated to do them if I was visiting the dr for an exam because I think it's so disrespectful to show up unclean, but I would not do it for ME. Why????

It makes me so sad to realize this :(

Sorry to hear what you are feeling. Keep in mind, counselors-although good, are not perfect! You know how you feel more so than anyone. Suggestion--you said the "daily tasks" you do twice per week...starting this week, aim for three times, then increase your tasks by 1 weekly. Grad. school huh? That is awesome! Hang in there and feel free to message me at anytime.