Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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EmilyRoseMari46 09/21/2017

Well since my last post I think I've gotten better. I went in and sink for help. I'm still very depressed and sadness. I thought I could get through my Fathers death but I'm killing me. I have stopped cutting but I still pick up the knife and wish I could finish. I miss my Dad so much. Every Tuesday I'm seeing a councilor to see if he can help me through this. I feel embarrassed for asking for help. My Mom is holding my hand every step and waiting in the waiting room for me. I feel bad that her only child is such a mess up in life. Im having bad days again were I'm down and out. I try to keep myself busy but it's hard. Fall is here and me and Dad would be hunting driving around in the mountains. It's harder in the fall for me. My brain is going around in circles and what do I do. I'm sorry for taking your time and if I'm confusing

Izumi 09/22/2017

I can imagine this being hard for you but you're already taking steps in the right direction. Continue keeping that knife away from you and keep seeing the councilor, I hope he can find something to help you through this.
I also don't think that you should feel bad for your mom ... sure it's not easy on both of you but I'm sure she's glad you're trying to somehow get through this at all.
Try and keep holding on! Distract yourself from thinking about the things that hurt and can't be changed and just try and hang in there ! <3

Muffet 09/24/2017

You have nothing to feel embarrassed about! You're going through major pain right now! Good for you for asking for help. That's the smart thing to do. And as a mom myself, I know it would make me feel so much better to know that my daughter was getting help because I couldn't bear to lose her, and I also don't want her hurting - emotionally or physically. I think it's wonderful that you had an awesome father, and have wonderful memories of him. You'll cherish those the rest of your life, and it will also help you pick a good man as you've had a great example. My mom died when I was 15 after being destroyed by cancer for four years; then my dad died 5 years after that. I didn't miss my dad, cause he was a jerk, but I missed my mother terribly. There was a huge emptiness inside me for a long time. I'm guessing that's what you're feeling. It's an emptiness that nothing can fill, and a pain that has no voice. But as time goes by, the hole starts to get smaller, and the silent scream goes away. And one day, it will be a small heart of love for him, and not a big hole of hurt. It does take time, but it will get better. Carry on your life where his left off. I'll bet that would make him very happy! :)

EmilyRoseMari46 09/26/2017

Yes I do feel empty lost and confused. My Dad was my world my best friend. I'm really having a hard time since it's hunting season and that was our favorite thing to do. Well fall mainly the colors the hunting and just getting coffee. On Sunday I sold his mortor home and I got upset. I know I would never use it so before he left me he always signed things for it would be easy for me to sell. I was ok but once it was out of my site I was getting upset. The guy who bought it was like him fixed things his own way collected bungee cords on the side of the road and wore the same kind a overalls. So my mom said Dad must of sent him to buy it and he will take care of it. Sorry for going on and on. I was upset when he past away but when it was his first anniversary it's when I took a bad toll and thought bad thoughts and started cutting again. Going to see an councilor every Tuesday and to see if that will help me. I feel embarrassed and I feel bad that my Mom has to wait in the waiting room ,

Muffet 10/07/2017

So neat about the motor home!!! Passed from one kindred spirit to another! Mom's usually don't mind waiting, but they do love helping, so I'm guessing your mom is glad to be there to help you through this. Some kids reject their parents...you sound like an awesome daughter. And you're no worse or better than anyone else, you're just a person. We all need help sometimes. So how did your Tuesday appointment go? Did you like the counselor?

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